A few days ago, California came just 7.6 percent short from a full legalization of marijuana in its much-hyped and controversial Proposition 19 vote. Needless to say, I almost dropped my croissant upon reading this news during my morning Internet current events binge.
Then I started thinking in hypotheticals. One can argue it's inevitable that marijuana will be legalized in the United States at some point in the future, with fairly credible statistics backing them up. So let's say tomorrow, being some point in the future, marijuana was declared fully legal in Madison with no strings attached, turning our city into the world's largest Bob Marley fan club of all time. What would happen? Who would benefit? Would society change for the better? Or would we all succumb to sitting on our couches, giggling whilst watching morning cartoons in Spanish?
First, I think it's fair to say that if you were to drop a foreign nomad into the heart of Madison with no knowledge of local legislation and had them follow a sociable student around, they'd soon believe the leaf was already legalized.
The homeless smoke, Greeks smoke, gamers smoke, student artists and musicians most definitely smoke. Even the biggest geeks on campus will ""geek out"" just for kicks, maybe to add a little spice to their episode of ""Battlestar Galactica"" or to help immerse themselves in an intense game of ""Dungeons and Dragons"" (does anyone play that anymore?).
Not to mention we have a yearly holiday in which all tokers unite in a march for their beloved THC on State Street and smoke their brains out, right under the plugged noses of local law enforcement. So would a full legalization of marijuana change things here besides eliminating the minor inconvenience of the awkward drug-dealer-to-client relationship?
If you could pick up a pack of joints filled with Afghani Kush at Triangle Market for cheap, I think it's safe to say more people would be smoking reefer and smoking a hell of a lot more of it. It's hard to imagine there would be a positive effect on the academic performances of the majority of students here, especially those who have homework that involves complex equations or chemical reactions. I don't care who you ask—math, chemistry and marijuana don't mix. If anyone says otherwise, they're either Einstein reincarnated or an habitual liar. On the other hand, classes involving art, deep thinking or being easily amused would probably be positively affected.
There would be fewer arrests—a lot fewer. Not only would no one be arrested for carrying around dime bags, but I think people would be less inclined to go out and walk the streets hammered, being content to sit around a bong and a pack of Oreos, listening to music or watching movies. Maybe the cops would even be stoned and therefore less motivated to throw convicts in the slammer.
The SERF would most certainly be emptier than ever, mainly because swimming and running go along with being high about as well as peanut butter and hot sauce. Taco Bell and Chipotle could expect record sales, as well as Ragstock; and students could actually browse head shops for glass pipes without getting thrown out for mentioning the word weed. Cigarette sales would plummet—after all, who's going to buy a pack of Camels when there's a pack of the green stuff sitting right next to it for the same price?
Truth be told, I don't think anyone knows just what would happen with a full legalization of America's favorite recreational drug. Maybe a good idea would be to do a test run, legalizing it for a month or so just to test the waters. But then again, curious politicians would probably be too stoned by the end date to change the law back again if it was needed.
