Reading [last week's] in-depth ""tips"" article [on blowjobs] immediately made me think it would be great to do an article on giving women head, something many men and women are clueless about. Obviously, this is only a suggestion, but … it's a topic that needs to be spoken about more often.
V.
But of course! Gentle readers, please understand that we write about topics you want us to write about. Every now and again, we handpick an issue we find interesting or important to address, but this column is largely shaped by you. So even if you feel like your idea is silly, or embarrassing, or ""only a suggestion,"" we still really want to hear it.
Especially when the topic is oral sex! Last week, we responded to a reader interested in tips for giving blowjobs. Lots of those tips carry over nicely when performing oral sex on a female-bodied person.
The first thing we talked about last week was enthusiasm, and this carries some special importance when going down on a gal. Often, ladies get different messages about their down-theres than guys do, and often, they're not all that positive—for real, Lysol used to be sold as a douche. Advertisements said things like, ""Failure to practice hygiene (internal cleanliness) often results in such needless tragedies—homes broken up, few social invitations, the feeling of being shunned without knowing why."" Damn. If only I'd known.
While most messages aren't that outrageous today, (and lots of women feel pretty confident about their ladyparts, thanks), it's still important for your partner to know how jazzed you are. Take a second to think about all the things that make cunnilingus so amazing, from all perspectives.
Next, use your hands to vary and/or enhance the sensations you give your partner. Female-bodied people have lots of sensitive structures to which you can and should pay homage while your mouth is otherwise occupied. Run your thumbs over her nipples. Wrap your hands around her waist and use your fingers to make little circles in the small of her back. Slip a finger inside her and make a come-hither motion to stimulate her G-spot. Press your lips against her ear and ask her what she wants, how it feels, if she likes that.
And, in addition to asking, there are some other things you should do with your mouth. You will need to become intimately acquainted with the clitoris. With 8,000 nerve fibers, the clitoris serves no other purpose than sexual pleasure. But despite its tremendous role, the clitoris can be elusive sometimes.
Anatomically, the external portion is located just above the junction of the inner labia. It rests under a little fold of tissue called the clitoral hood. If your partner is already aroused, the clitoris may swell with blood and peek out from under its hood.
Don't worry if you're not sure you've found it right away; direct stimulation, especially early in the game, might be overwhelming (not in the good way). So even if you know exactly where you're going, it's okay to take your sweet time getting there.
Once you begin to focus on the clitoris, the best technique will be unique to your partner. Try rapid-fire flicking, gently taking her clit inside your mouth, or long, leisurely licks. If she has a clitoral hood piercing, you can suck on the barbell. If things get too intense (or if you feel like making her squirm), try alternating between concentrated clitoral stimulation and slow, easy exploration of other parts of her vulva.
These might be some techniques to try, but ultimately, we gave out our best oral sex tip last week: ""The best head is the head your partner likes."" Ask her what she wants and pay close attention to how she reacts to what you do with your tongue. This way, you'll undoubtedly be able to blow her mind.
Have sex questions? E-mail anything and everything to sex@dailycardinal.com.
