When Hollywood studios started to realize that mining the childhood nostalgia of Generations X and Y with quality movie adaptations such as ""Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen"" and ""G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra"" could be a gold mine, they rushed to procure the rights to any entertainment property that had been even remotely popular within the last 30 years. While 2010 may have been the year of the sequels and reboots, 2011 and 2012 are shaping up to be the years where all the memories of your favorite childhood toys and games may be altered forever as studios dig up their remains and make them dance for your ten bucks on silver screens across the country.
Let's take a look at the somewhat preposterous adaptations planned for the coming years:
""Monopoly""
Back in 2008, Universal Studios and Hasbro announced a ""strategic partnership"" to produce movies based on some of Hasbro's most beloved brands. As a result, Pamela Pettler is currently working on a script based on the Monopoly board game for Ridley Scott to direct. Scott has been very involved with the story development so far and has his own unique vision for how to translate the capitalism-in-a-box board game into a feature film. From what producer Frank Beddor has said so far, the movie will follow a character who ends up in Monopoly City, a place controlled by several titans of industry including the Parker Brothers themselves.
""Stretch Armstrong""
One of the unholy offspring of that Universal-Hasbro partnership is a Stretch Armstrong movie. Nick Stoller (writer-director of ""Get Him to the Greek"") has written a script for Universal. Taylor Lautner is attached as notoriously weird '70s action figure Stretch Armstrong. Stoller has already mentioned to MTV that Lautner will be shirtless for much of the film. The movie is being shot in 3-D to make Lautner's abs really pop. The Stretch Armstrong character had no actual existing back-story or mythology, so clearly the property was ripe to be adapted into a timeless film.
""Battleship""
Another Universal-Hasbro product set to drastically alter your childhood memories, ""Battleship"" has recently been adapted by Paramount Pictures after Universal fell through. Directed by Peter Berg (""Hancock""), the movie's script mixes the classic Battleship number-guessing game play with new space alien invasion plot elements. The movie reportedly has a $200 million budget. Liam Neeson (with a very special set of skills), Alexander Skarsgard (""True Blood"") and Rihanna (in her acting debut) provide an eclectic cast.
""Magic 8-Ball""
Ever wonder what ""National Treasure"" would have been like if Nicholas Cage had been getting his directions from a Magic 8-Ball instead of national historical monuments? Well, we are all about to find out, whether we like it or not. Paramount, after again picking up the rights from Universal, is working on making a live-action ""National-Treasure""-style, action-adventure movie starring the Magic 8-Ball.
""Candy Land""
Kevin Lima (""Enchanted"") will be directing a Candy Land movie for Universal based on a script written by Etan Cohen, co-writer of ""Tropic Thunder"" and ""Idiocracy."" That's right, we are getting a Candy Land movie written by the same guy who did ""Tropic Thunder."" The concept may seem ridiculous, but the significant talent behind this project makes it worth a second look.
It remains to be seen whether these revisionist incarnations of our childhood memories will be nostalgic acid trips of childhood toys come to life or disenchanting disasters that will have us groaning about how they desecrated the last fond memories of our youth as we dejectedly leave the theater. I hope for the former, but only time will tell.
