Drunk guy after OSU game:
Would you rather be Mufasa or Scar?
Guy: Mufasa for sure.
Girl in Vilas Hall:
My grandparents will see my name in the paper and say Wow! You're famous! That's what they always tell me, as they settle into dementia.
Girl in Taco Bell:
I would break up with my boyfriend, but he cries every time I try ... I'll have to do it tomorrow. Or something.
Girl on State Street:
If you think me pooping in my brother's bathroom and not flushing is bad, he takes my shit out of my room and sells it on ebay.
Guy in Humanities:
Buttholes are pretty gross. You just get toilet paper stuck in them.
Guy in outdoor patio at
Espresso Royale:
Meta is so ‘90s. No more meta. Down with meta. Fuck meta.
Professor in Vilas Hall:
—Well it was 1933 and we laughed at everything back then.
—On politicians: Liar, Liar pants on fire... or skirt. Maybe he cross-dresses.
—There are three good reasons to be a college professor: June, July and August.
Professor in Helen C. White Hall while reading Rochester:
I'll take the sin upon myself and read these curse words for you.
Random dude at the Old Fashioned:
Do you want to see my laser pointer gun?
Collected snippets from professor in Birge Hall:
—During a demonstration, waving his tie like it's the tail of a sperm: Lo and behold boys, let's go do some sex!
—On domesticating animals: Pigs are great. They turn shit into pork!
Guy walking down Dayton Street:
Can't spell cocksucker without... I don't get it.
Girl at the Plaza:
Is there such a thing as half drinks?
Submit your Overheards to vstatz@dailycardinal.com or at dailycardinal.com/page-two by commenting on this weeks' submissions.
