Not sure if you're aware of this, but this weekend is Halloween and here in Madison the holiday is rather important. I'm guessing most people have already picked their costume(s) for Friday and Saturday nights, but for those still wondering I'm here to help with some distinctly Wisconsin costumes.
There are some classic ways to dress up as your favorite UW characters. Going as Phil seems easy but given the number of people who try it (and the guy who did it at last year's hockey games) you've got to be good to stand out. You could also be like me and try the Bret Bielema (red windbreaker, white polo underneath, khakis and a two-point conversion chart that just says ""Fuck Minnesota"").
Over the past few days countless blogs have offered their suggestions for awesome sports-related Halloween costumes can wear, most of which will confuse 95 percent of those who see it but make the other 5 percent die laughing. And, since I strive for originality above all else, here are my suggestions for obscure Badger sports Halloween costumes Wisconsin fans can wear.
Barry Alvarez
Go to a lame party, bring a ton of awesome people to it and make it one of the best parties around. Later buy the house and find an excuse to get recognized and bowed to at every subsequent get together.
Tim Brewster
This is the perfect Madison costume, since everyone at Wisconsin will love you for it and all of those kids from Minnesota who come down every Halloween will be scared shitless. Same applies for Kirk Ferentz after last week.
Make sure your clothes are dirty and you have a stench of failure as well. A sign saying ""Will Coach for Food"" is optional but encouraged.
Brett Favre's Penis
Make a giant cell phone, walk around inside of it all night and desperately try to pick up girls by showing yourself off. Only to be attempted by people shorter than five feet.
""But Nico,"" you are surely saying, ""I'm a famous student-athlete and I need a costume too!""
Never fear, if some of Wisconsin's athletes want an idea for a Halloween costume I can offer some ideas.
Nick Toon
Some sort of Nickelodeon cartoon character. It just has to happen. ""Rocko's Modern Life,"" ""Doug,"" ""Hey Arnold!"" I don't care, with a name like Nick Toon your costume destiny was decided long ago.
Men's Soccer Team
Cast of ""The Bad News Bears."" Maybe get one of the women's soccer players to play Amanda Whurlitzer—really have fun with it. Actually, that might not be the worst idea this season—see if Alev Kelter wants to be a three-sport athlete.
By the way, this is referencing the 1976 classic, not the 2005 Billy Bob Thorton abomination. If you guys go as that cast I will cut you.
Ryan Evans
This is just too easy: Fresh Prince. Boom. Done. Unless he did something foolish and cut that flat top off, but I can't imagine he ever would…
J.J. Watt
Watt asked for help on his Twitter feed (@JJWatt99) with a Halloween costume and got some good responses, including dressing up as the TV Timeout Official or himself, which someone said was sure to scare any quarterbacks.
Since we at The Daily Cardinal always seem to get photos of him with his arms outstretched in a zombie-like fashion (see the front page of Monday's issue), I recommend Watt go as a zombie version of himself. He could walk around munching on Terrelle Pryor's arm and holding his arms out like he's blocking another kick (or searching for human flesh to devour, could be either).
Actually, Zombie J.J. Watt sounds pretty awesome—there should be a joke Twitter feed for that. Wait, there already is? And I created it? Huh, weird coincidence. Follow @ZombieJJWatt.
Have any awesome ideas for Halloween costumes? Let Nico hear about it at savidgewilki@dailycardinal.com.
