Perhaps it's because I'm in a long-distance relationship that I initially liked Magic Kids' new album, Memphis. The first song's lyrics include ""I'm scared of you leaving me here alone ... I'll be waiting here right by the phone / I'll be waiting here till you come home."" I'm their target audience; I'm supposed to eat all that up.
But eventually, I had to listen to the other ten tracks, and with those, I had to remain objective. And so, after listening to Memphis a little more carefully, the truth was abundantly clear: this shit sucked.
Magic Kids are bubblegum-pop for a generation that has moved beyond the likes of traditional emo to something a little more Katy Perry. And yes, it's as horrible as that sounds.
The entire album is a sugar rush. It's so sweet and happy and euphoric, but not in a Mario Kart Rainbow Road kind of way. Rather, it's like you've been kidnapped by a gaggle of Care Bears who stuffed you into a tie-dyed knapsack and forced you to listen to their happy-go-lucky conversations until your ears bled. Memphis is so horribly sweet that it's bound to make anyone a diabetic.
When it comes to its construction, everything about the album is too easy. Memphis contains 11 tracks, and yet comes in under a half-hour. It's like the band didn't want to over-exert themselves, and thus kept everything short and to the point—which I can appreciate, but when done too frequently, each burst of a song is like a punch in the face, one too quick to really absorb.
The title of the album draws from the band's hometown, nothing too complicated or insightful there, especially considering, beyond its title, the album doesn't seem to have anything to do with the city.
To add insult to injury, the beats and lyrics are elementary. The album gets boring fast, and it's easy to lose whatever unique qualities the individual songs may have because of the simple building blocks that compose each of the tracks.
But when you examine all of these missteps, you realize it's not that the album is too easy, but rather it was too hard for Magic Kids to make. Let's face it. They're self-proclaimed children. Perhaps their age doesn't mirror this term, but their product does. Everything about the record is all too obvious.
It's a shame, because, at first glance, Memphis seems to have so much potential. The album's track names include ""Candy,"" ""Skateland"" and ""Superball."" Who doesn't love all of those things? They're such obvious symbols of youth that could've been interpreted in such exciting ways. Instead, everything about the album is unapologetically deliberate. Just because Magic Kids are evoking childhood imagery doesn't mean they need to talk to us like children.
I guess I should've known this from the beginning. Hell, their name sounds like a PBS Kids special. To expect their music to have any wisdom or depth is ridiculous, and perhaps a bit naïve on my part. I'm sure they didn't mean to hurt anyone with their nauseating demeanor, but the fact is, they did. So, if you venture into the abyss that is Memphis, your trip will likely serve as a learning experience, and in the future, when you encounter another up and coming band called The Jungle Gym or Barney and Friends, you'll know better.
