VILAS PARK – The situation was perfect. It was a familiar scenario; one that sets men up to become legends. And with 2009's hero watching from the dugout, it was Editorial Board Chairman Joe Labuz who ensured The Badger Herald would come off the diamond victorious for the second year in a row.
Down 10-9 with two runners on and two outs, Labuz crushed a long home run over the heads of a deep Daily Cardinal outfield that was already backed up to the city limits of Middleton. The blast gave the Gentle Clowns of the Badger Herald a 12-10 walk-off win in the annual softball game, a year after former sports editor Ben Voelkel provided a theatrical ending to the 2009 game.
""There is nothing you can do about it,"" Labuz said repeatedly, as he rounded the bases – each utterance of the phrase sapping the already-low self-esteem of the Dirty Bird infielders.
But as in any storybook ending, the result would not have been possible without some drama.
Up 9-3 in the top of the seventh inning, the Herald looked to be comfortably in control. Needing only three outs to avenge an October loss in the flag football game, BH pitcher Michael Bleach and his defense ran into some trouble.
""Yeah, we wanted to give the Dirty Bird a chance to save face,"" Bleach said. ""You might say I was just clowning around out there.""
With a defense consisting of late-season call-ups, the Dirty Bird started chipping away at the deficit, eventually going ahead on a home run over the heads of an over-confident Herald outfield. Defensive substitutions helped Bleach – who had a part in all three putouts in the inning – get the Gentle Clowns off the field down just one run.
In the bottom of the seventh, Publisher Nick Penzenstadler and sports writer Cassie Paulsen reached base and both advanced into scoring position by the time Labuz – who already had a home run – came up to the plate. Dirty Bird manager Nico Savidge already knew the game was over at that point.
""I considered stacking the outfield, but what's the point?"" Savidge said.
Asked to elaborate on the term ""stacking the outfield,"" he admitted he planned on sending the entire Cardinal staff into the field, but realized he didn't want to add a 300-yard walk to what he knew was already going to be an embarrassing, shameful end to the game for the Cardinal.
Aside from the carefully planned seven runs the BH allowed in the top of the seventh inning, it was a game dominated by the Herald from the first drink of beer. BH designated drinker Adam Holt won a controversial chug-off against future DC editor-in-chief Emma Roller that required an overtime period. Roller was visibly nervous during the bout, trembling with obvious premonitions of the softball beat-down that would follow.
The Herald scored first, but found itself down 3-1 entering the bottom of the fourth inning. Big hits off the bats of Labuz and Editorial Page Editor Sean Kittridge helped produce a six-run inning for the Gentle Clowns. The rest, as they say, is history.
""The bottom line is, the Dirty Bird's bats were small and inadequate tonight,"" BH editor in chief Jason Smathers said. ""Small and inadequate is all too often the theme with the Cardinal.""
