Plans for a new Central Library died last week. Weeks of debate were stifled by the uncaring hand of economics, another reminder that we inhabit a cold, harsh universe that is dictated solely by chance events often occurring at what we deem to be the worst possible times.
In light of this, after several nights of contemplation and soul-searching by candlelight, we at The Daily Cardinal Editorial Board have decided that we don't really care about anything anymore.
We don't care about the Central Library, or the Edgewater, or the environment, or labor laws, or banana republics, who shot first, Han or Greedo. Nothing. Seriously, we care about absolutely nothing.
Because really, what's the point?
There isn't really a singular truth or anything in this world, only opinions, and then we could just argue for a while and never get anything done. So what's the point of debating animal research ethics? We'd rather just go bowling and smoke cigarettes or something.
Everything is just heat and thermodynamics anyway. The universe is expanding at a constant rate, you know, really far-out stuff going on around us, doesn't that make you not really care about anything? What does it matter if we have one Central Library or a billion?
I mean, how much can anyone really read a book anyway? It's just that there is all this inertia, man, all this gravity pushing us in a direction we weren't supposed to go in. Seriously, the Earth has been around over four billion years. We're only here for like, less than a second on that time scale, do you really expect us to spend that time debating climate change or stopping developers from polluting our water?
And then there's all this technology and stuff. Before we had this beautiful agrarian society, you know? Things changed with the seasons and we woke up when the sun rose and spent all day being pastoral and stuff. It was really great, at least on paper it looks really great.
Then Edison invented the light bulb and we could all stay up all night, do whatever we want whenever we want, and then the realization of industrialized society, all the phones and new connections. It's amazing that we can even hear ourselves think above all the white noise out there.
Really, do you ever think about stuff like that? Everything is so uncertain, so precarious, it's like it could all end in a matter of minutes and we're sitting her fretting about a bunch of material things. Job creation and Mark Neumann for governor.
We don't really care about Narc Meumann or Tricky Dick Nixon because they don't care about us. Really, how often is Mark Neumann himself anyway? Do you think he thinks about that? Would you vote for him if he did? Why do we even vote on anything anyway?
So, yeah, for these reasons. You know what, fuck it
