I'm relatively sure most students would agree that as gorgeous and wonderful as our campus is, it could benefit from a pretty serious makeover.
More and more, I find myself walking across campus making mental notes of all the improvements and additions I believe the campus would benefit from.
Sure, there are the obvious ones like the complete demolition of Humanities and Vilas Hall, the concrete monsters that plague the view of downtown looking down from Bascom Hill. Well, for that matter, I would feel OK with tearing down Sellery and Witte, too, but maybe that's because I have no personal attachment to either of them.
But recently I've hammered out a more specific list with some pretty great ideas that I believe would benefit nearly all students—or at least those who have nearly identical schedules to mine or find themselves in the same buildings as me at the same time.
Problem: Bascom Hill
It's a personal choice to become a mountain climber, and I most certainly do not appreciate Wisconsin forcing me to become one. It's too hot in the summer, and in the winter you get all bundled up and inevitably start sweating halfway up and look like you did an hour of cardio by the time you get to your discussion in the Social Sciences building.
Solution: Moving sidewalks
They have them in airports and Las Vegas, so why not Wisconsin? Plus, I have a funding solution: Move Grainger Hall to the top of the hill and get the business school alums to foot the bill. Grainger was built in 1993 and in 2008 was given a $40.5 million addition complete with a great cafeteria and a working water wall. I'm relatively certain the same toilet in the second floor women's bathroom in Vilas has been broken since I was a freshman and the only water flowing in Humanities is out of the ceiling on rainy days. My point: Convince a few School of Business alumni that they are bettering the lives of the current biz kids and they'll have no problem forking out the couple million bucks it would take to get some sweet moving sidewalks running up and down Bascom. Problem solved.
Problem: Lack of caffeine depots
Lots of students, myself included, have moderate to severe caffeine addictions. When I get up in the morning, I can't keep my eyes open for more than 20 minutes unless I have a liter of coffee or three shots of espresso. And when I look around most of my lectures, I notice many of my peers are equally groggy and miserable.
Solution: Coffee carts
Students shouldn't have to walk all the way to Ingraham or Engineering or any of the other two or three buildings that supply non-vending machine variety caffeinated beverages to get our morning fix. Since most of our caffeine addictions are school-fueled, I think the university should provide us with some relief and have coffee carts that provide warm and stimulating beverages to students in every building and wheel through crowded lecture halls. It's a win-win situation for all involved parties.
Problem: Sandy snow.
We can deny it all we want, but winter is soon approaching, and our campus will be covered in over 100 inches of cold, wet, horrible snow. I'm all for snow forts and angels, but when I have to walk through several feet of snow to get to class, I'm pretty anti-precipitation. And the fact that Madison, both the university and the city itself, refuse to shovel/plow/salt any sidewalks or streets makes the winter in Wisconsin so much worse.
Solution: Salt
Is it bad for the environment? Yes. Does it rust cars and make Uggs uglier than ever? Yes. Do I care remotely? Not at all. Walking to class in the winter is a hazard and gives me so much more incentive to skip class, an action I do not think the university supports. It takes two times as long to get anywhere when there are snow hills covering every sidewalk, and driving doesn't really get you anywhere any faster. I'm not sure if it's a funding thing or the eco-freaks who are afraid of contaminated ground water, but enough is enough. Salt it up.
I fully recognize that few individuals on campus with the means of accomplishing any of these ventures read this column and no self-respecting person would admit to it anyway, but I think I've got some pretty solid ideas formulating here. If you have determination, a good work ethic or any connections, you should do something about them... I think my creative contribution was more than enough.
Want to bitch about the things you hate involving campus, large hills or winter in general? E-mail Jillian at jlevy2@wisc.edu.
