When Rachel S., 20, tripped on the sidewalk last Friday outside of the George L. Mosse Humanities building, she never would have guessed that her misstep could have been responsible for one of the few friendly Coastie-Sconnie gestures on the UW-Madison campus since the Vietnam War protests in the late '60s.
At approximately 2:15 p.m., Rachel, a native of Long Island was texting and walking from her Communication Arts class back to her residence on Langdon Street, when out of nowhere, tragedy struck. Walking in the opposite direction on the sidewalk was 19-year-old Megan V., originally from Oostburg, Wis., was also texting. Happening upon a small indent in the sidewalk, Rachel said she remembers tripping and losing control of all body movement, at which point she collided with Megan.
""I was like, literallay, so scared,"" Rachel said of the incident. ""In basicallay a second, I could have lost everything, including my phone and my like, dignitay.""
When Megan caught Rachel midair in an effort to prevent her from face-planting, confusion and astonishment followed. According to multiple eyewitnesses, the two appeared to be hugging, an action seemingly reaffirmed by the fact that both girls yelled, ""Oh my God!"" as they collapsed into each other's arms, an intimate greeting common of female Coasties and Sconnies alike. Seconds later, the UW Police received numerous calls from horrified students concerned over the exchange.
""Ya know, she was fallin', and I says to myself I says, catch that darn thing! So, ya know, I did,"" Megan said. ""I didn't think anything of it at da time, but I guess I accidentally did a nice thing fir her.""
At the time, Megan was coming back from an agricultural science lab at the Stock Pavilion and had sheep's blood on her pants from a recent dissection, evidence that Rachel used in pleading her innocence when the campus police arrived two minutes later.
""I asked the police, ‘Do you for rel think, I would, like, have come within fortay feet of goat's blood?'"" Rachel said. ""And then I said, ‘Hells no.'""
According to Megan's friends, the incident almost cost her their friendship.
""Oh, ya. She'da been a goner,"" said Kody W., 20, a long-time friend of Megan said. ""Hoity-toity, dats what I say. Might as well have cheered for da Vikes, but I woulda forgave her fir that.""
After the scene was examined and declared safe and the girls were Breathalyzed, UW Police ruled the friendly encounter an accident and let the girls off with a warning.
""There just wasn't any alcohol involved. That's the largest contributing factor when we see this type of situation unfold,"" said UW Police officer Michael Rannenbauer. ""For now, we can just be happy that the Coastie-Sconnie exchange was a fluke. I mean, what would they have talked about?""
""Yeah, for real, the Packers?"" Rachel added.
Usually, the police are not so friendly toward Coastie-Sconnie encounters. They understand the importance of isolating one's own social group on one's college campus and acknowledged the fact that the university simply could not function unless this separation occurred.
""Well, we get calls about 15 times a day dealing with what we call ‘crossovers,'"" Rannenbauer said. ""Of course it's always worse on gamedays, but complaints can consist of anything as simple as a hipster calling about abro showing up at their party or as serious as a freshman Sconnie realizing his roommate is a FIB. Those Wisconsinites have to put up with FIBs all summer, so how could they ever stand to live with one year-round?""
If you have any tips for preventing Coastie-Sconnie occurrences or crossovers of any kind, please e-mail VP at evanpay@wisc.edu.
