Hi Erica,
I was in the Sex Out Loud office yesterday and you guys have a million different kinds of lube. What are the differences between all the lubes, advantages/disadvantages, etc.
Sincerely,
Seeking Lube Information Please
Hey SLIP,
My readers are getting creative with the sign-offs. Love it. I also love that you've been checking out the SOL office and our safer sex supplies, but please note I'm not representing SOL's stance on any particular issue when I write for the DC. If you want to talk to me in my SOL capacity, you can certainly visit me in the SOL office.
Anyway, regardless of the capacity I do it in, I could talk about lube all effing day. Lube is a super-duper supplement to our sex lives; it serves the dual purposes of making things safer and more pleasurable. It does both by reducing friction, and less friction equals a lesser likelihood that things will tear, e.g. a condom or the lining of your asshole. Neither of those events is something most of us particularly look forward to happening during sex, so lube can be a helpful addition.
Once we've decided to use lube, we have three basic kinds to choose from: water-based, silicone-based, and oil-based. Water-based lubes are made primarily with water (duh), and some common brands include Astroglide, KY, Sliquid, Maximus, and Liquid Silk (note—Liquid Silk does contain a small amount of silicone, but for all practical purposes falls into the category of ""water-based""). Many people like water-based lubes because they absorb into the skin after a little while, meaning you don't have to walk around all day with a sticky had-sex-this-morning residue all over your private region.
However, if you're in for a lengthy sack session, this may also be a disadvantage of water-based lubes, since they will require some reapplication after a while (KY is notorious for this, since it wasn't originally designed for prolonged friction; it was designed to help doctors stick their fingers more easily into, ahem, tight spaces). These lubes also wash right off with water, so if you're taking an especially relaxing bubble bath, you'll want to try a silicone lube. Finally, one free, readily-available water-based lube is spit. I am not suggesting you hawk a loogie into your partner's lap, but a little oral sex prior to intercourse or manual stimulation can provide all the benefits of lube from a tube.
Many water-based lubes are thin and, er, watery, but some thicker, creamier varieties are available. However, many people prefer silicone-based lubes, such as Wet Platinum, Eros, or System Jo, if they like a little more texture. To know if your lube is silicone-based, look for something ending in –cone in the ingredient list (usually you'll see dimethicone and/or cyclomethicone). Silicone lube is also used on most lubricated condoms. These lubes have the advantage of being thicker and longer-lasting than water-based lubes, but the correlated disadvantage is that they can sometimes keep things slick long after they've served their desired purpose. Another disadvantage of silicone lube is that it can't be coupled with silicone toys. Silicone is a solid at room temperature, and silicone lube is made with a particular chemical to keep it liquid at room temperature. Thus, if you get that liquid silicone lube chemical on your solid silicone toy, your toy will start to liquefy. Maybe in your butt. Bad news.
Last and pretty much least, I'm going to spend just a second talking about oil-based lubes. I don't want to make a blanket ""you should not use oil-based lube"" statement, because many people enjoy the long-lasting lubrication oil can provide. However, while both water- and silicone-based lubes are condom-compatible, oil will degrade latex barriers, making them more likely to break. Oil is also difficult to remove from your orifices, since water and oil don't mix, and most of us aren't really interested in a soapy post-sex enema. For these reasons, water- or silicone-based lubes are better options.
On top of these bases, many lubricants have bells and whistles designed to ""tingle"" or ""taste like chicken."" While some people do find these bells and whistles to enhance the tastes, smells and other sensations of sex play, many others find putting additional chemicals in/onto their most sensitive areas result in some unpleasant reactions. Many flavored lubes contain some kind of sugar (often glycerin), which yeast looooves to grow on. ""Tingling"" lubes are commonly irritants, and the tingling sensation we feel is our epithelial cells saying, ""Hey, omg, wtf?"" Some spermicidal lubes, nonoxynol-9 in particular, are great at killing sperm, but are so irritating they actually cause itty-bitty tears in the lining of the vagina/rectum, increasing our susceptibility to HIV infection. Again, these are not necessarily blanket statements saying, ""Don't use these."" Rather, they are things to be aware of if you decide to try out these lubes, and they are reasons to test out small amounts of any new lubricant before dousing your favorite toy with it and going to town.
See, I told you—I could talk about lube all effing day. Whatever your question is, I could probably go on about it all effing day. Thanks to SLIP for whetting our appetites this week (pun intended), and shoot me an e-mail if you'd like me to expound on your favorite topic next week.
Wanna get direct feedback to questions you're too embarrassed to ask in public, but desperately need answered just in time for the weekend? E-mail Erica at sex@dailycardinal.com.
