The suspect arrested in connection with several downtown robberies is requesting a name change. The press labeled the man ""The Parka Bandit"" due to his distinctive coat, but the suspect argued that moniker could not be further from the truth.
""It's more of a pea coat, or perhaps a smoking jacket,"" complained the suspect, 20-year-old Justin Thompson. ""Honestly, how can you call this thing a parka? You don't see me robbing L.L. Bean, do you?""
Madison Police Department Public Information Officer Joel DeSpain noted that most criminals have little to no choice in their moniker. ""Who can forget the famed ‘Pink Shirt Hoodlum'?"" DeSpain asked wryly. ""He was probably about as pleased as the infamous ‘Really Really Smelly Crook.'""
Thompson will be arraigned on five counts of robbery, one count of drug possession and three felonies that will be categorized as crimes of fashion.
