What is the worst kind of movie? Is it long and boring or is it unnecessarily confusing? The answer is neither; the worst movies carry predictable plot lines that are too corny to appreciate even if they were original. And if that excruciatingly cliché movie happens to be the fourth sequel coming out almost a decade after the original appeared in theaters, then you have a movie that should never have been pitched in the first place.
This is the unfortunate case with ""Fast & Furious,"" the latest installment dedicated to being furiously fast.
This time around, they remember to incorporate a piece of what made the first installment appealing, the original cast. With nearly the same title and actors, the theater calls to fans of the original to see if American's hopes for a real sequel can finally be realized on screen. Unfortunately, the plot and dialogue are so marred by their predictability that the cast has no chance of restoring the series back to its brief golden age in 2001.
Although the action was appropriately interspersed with loads of sex and violence, between the cliché plot, corny dialogue and the eight-year hiatus from the release of the original, this movie was doomed from the start.
The opening scene gives us a glimpse of the desperate attempt the film makes at restoring excitement to the series. After Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) and Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) successfully hijack oil from a truck, Toretto drives his car under the massive inflamed rolling truck in impossible fashion. As audiences start to laugh at the ridiculousness of this opening scene, it becomes clear that this is not the last time roars of laughter will be heard at the supposed serious and intense points of the film.
Another such moment came when Letty tries to console and convince her lover, Toretto, they shouldn't stop racing simply because of the inherent dangers of street piracy. Right after she looks at him and takes a deep breath, she says, ""Baby what did we say to each other when we first started doing this ... ride or die and nothing else."" The audience once again burst into laughter at the unprecedented levels of fluff the dialogue quickly reaches.
Dominated by an unrealistic, unfeeling dialogue and a lack of plausibility pertaining to certain events, which included Vin Diesel taking a bullet in the back without batting an eye, ""Fast & Furious"" leads to more mocking and unsympathetic responses than anything else.
One more scene highlighting the massive failure of the plot and dialogue comes when the antagonist is caught by Toretto and Brian O'Conner (Paul Walker). We hear more heightened levels of cliché with the words of the captured criminal. Lacking any real suspense or convincing acting, the bad guy looks at his capturers and says, ""We're not so different you and me..."" At this point in the movie, the audience's anticipation revolves around seeing if the conclusion of the film can exhibit the same inability to emotionally reach audiences that it displayed consistently throughout. And in this last anti-climactic statement, ""Fast & Furious""—attempt four—does not disappoint.
First and foremost, this movie should stand as a laundry list for filmmakers and producers of what to avoid when making a sequel. First, if you're making a sequel that's supposed to reflect the success of the original, it's best not to wait eight years to make it. And if it's an action drama, offering clever dialogue and a suspenseful plot helps elicit the type of audience response that reflects the action on the screen, instead of the laughter this feeble attempt at film is sure to yield from any viewers looking for something worth their time.
Grade: F
