We're days away from Spring Break, and I could not be more excited. Breaking free from the oppressive chains of academia never felt so good. No, I'm not heading to Panama City for an MTV-fueled Spring Break extravaganza. Nope, I'm heading home to Lexington, MA, a town whose entire industry is based on people dressing up in authentic colonial garb and giving tours of really ""important"" historical landmarks. So no, I'm not looking forward to settling in at the Hancock house with a Sam Adams and my pimpin' tri-corn hat. But I am looking forward to the journey back home, because I'm taking a road trip with several of my Wisconsin friends. So, in anticipation of this epic 19-hour journey back to Boston, I have compiled a list of my eight favorite road trip films.
8. ""Road Trip""
""Road Trip"" is by no means a good movie. In fact, some would say that this is a pretty bad film, and that I merely included it in my list because of its name. And they would be 95 percent right. Yet there is some small charm in reliving the nostalgic days of 7th grade, when seeing a film like ""Road Trip"" meant seeing hot girls naked, and seeing Tom Green be hilarious (or hilarious to my 7th grade mind, anyway). The plot of the film is so asinine that it's hardly worth mentioning. A guy accidentally gets the film he was sending to his long-distance girlfriend (ever heard of Skype, people?) mixed up with a sex tape he makes with another girl from his college, and then treks cross-country with his roommates to retrieve it. The film is most notable for holding the Guinness World Record for most comedic has-beens in one film, with seven (Green, Breckin Meyer, Andy Dick, Horatio Sanz, DJ Qualls, Ethan Suplee and Seann William Scott).
7. ""Harold and Kumar go to White Castle""
Besides having one of the most descriptive names ever, ""Harold and Kumar"" can also boast being the best attempt by filmmakers to return to the buddy-buddy stoner genre since the days of Cheech and Chong. Harold is an uptight wimp, and Kumar is a lazy genius. Together, their quest for the delicious White Castle cuisine is an adventure for the whole family (given that your family is made up solely of teenage potheads).
6. ""Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan""
Sacha Baron Cohen's hilarious yet culturally relevant comedy-documentary covers more ground than most of the films on this list. By criss-crossing the nation in their converted ice cream truck, Borat and his director Azamat examine the absurdities of American life in many areas, all while pursuing the goal of wedding Pamela Anderson through the traditional Kazakh method of marriage. Very nice!
5. ""Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas""
The biographical chronicle of gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson, ""Fear and Loathing"" puts the ""trip"" in ""road trip."" Johnny Depp and Benicio del Toro spend their days driving around in a drug-addled haze in the only city where their actions are not only encouraged, but condoned. Depp's paranoid portrayal of Thompson is spot on, and their strange adventures definitely top any weird occurrences of an average road trip. One caveat: Many films can be used as a drinking game where people drink whenever a certain character drinks. Please, for the love of God, do not play that game with ""Fear and Loathing"" and the drugs they use.
4. ""The Muppet Movie""
""The Muppet Movie"" marked the big-screen debut for Jim Henson's furry friends, and they scored a hit with this familiar story of traveling to Hollywood to make it big in show business. Featuring cameos from the biggest stars of the time including Bob Hope, Steve Martin, Dom DeLuise, Mel Brooks, Madeline Kahn and Milton Berle, ""The Muppet Movie"" had plenty of talent. But it was those familiar furry faces that we loved to grow up with that stole the show. So to Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo and the rest of the gang, I salute you.
3. ""Planes, Trains and Automobiles""
Although ""Planes"" does not feature college kids or copious use of illicit substances, the film still fills the traditional road trip movie standard by featuring two characters who need to do anything to reach their goal. Steve Martin and John Candy play off each other well as the bitter businessman and the buoyant bumpkin, respectively. Both of them struggle through snow, car crashes, and sheer ineptitude to make it home by Thanksgiving.
2. ""The Straight Story""
""The Straight Story"" is a notable deviation from the typical road trip formula. It's a serious film, a small indie project made by several Wisconsin residents. It's based on the true story of Alvin Straight, a man living in Iowa who learns of his estranged brother's illness. So, to set things right, he hops on his lawn tractor and rides from Iowa to Mount Zion, WI, all while meeting some interesting characters along the way. Besides the obvious awesomeness of taking a road trip on a tractor (why didn't I think of that?), ""The Straight Story"" is also great because it tugs at your heartstrings, and makes you realize that sometimes road trips have a more worthy cause than booze, women or other general debauchery.
1. ""National Lampoon's Vacation""
Perhaps the most classic road trip film of all, ""Vacation"" chronicles the Griswold family's attempt to travel from their Chicago-area home to the fabled Walley World in California. Of course, traveling via station wagon with your family is a surefire way to encounter trouble, and ""Vacation"" dishes it out on the eternally peppy Griswold family with unrequited glee. From the bone-headed in-laws to the unintentional dragging of the family dog, Chevy Chase keeps on a manic grin until the very end, when his last vestiges of sanity are completely lost.
Think Kevin missed some obvious road trip classics? Then join Kevin on the greatest road trip ever, where all we do all day is eat ice cream and watch movies while our driver (Charles Barkley) sings gospel. Or just E-mail him at kevslane@gmail.com
