If you were one of the 36.3 million people nationwide who watched the Oscars last week, you probably enjoyed the pleasant (though predictable) ceremony. Hugh Jackman proved that you don't have to be a comedian to get an audience laughing with his theatrical renditions. James Franco and Seth Rogen teamed with famed director of photography Janusz Kaminski to craft a bong out of Kaminski's Oscars, while simultaneously crafting the funniest skit of the entire show. Watching the two doobie brothers crack up at ""The Reader,"" then hit uncomfortable silence as Franco watched himself make out with Sean Penn was good for some genuine giggles.
But the highlights (and biggest oversight) of the show occurred in the serious portions. The former winners honoring each nominee was a nice thought, but took up too much time. Not only that, but it seemed some of the presenters gave varying effort in their presentations. Nicole Kidman's compliments to Angelina Jolie felt about as honest as Barry Bonds telling the American public he has never done steroids.
Sadly, the moment that should have drawn the most acclaim ultimately fell flat. 2008 is unique in the number of prominent celebrities who passed away, and as usual, the Oscars had a video tribute to their memory. Heath Ledger, Paul Newman, Isaac Hayes, Bernie Mac, Michael Crichton, Charlton Heston, and many more were honored. Yet despite having nearly every recently deceased personality in Hollywood on the list, the Academy left off two important icons: George Carlin and Don LaFontaine.
Leaving Carlin off the list can be excused, in a way. He is more famous for his stand-up act and only delved into movies after first establishing himself as a comedian. However, there is absolutely no excuse for not mentioning Don LaFontaine. Although many of you may not know his name, you have heard LaFontaine's work. As the most distinctive voice in Hollywood, LaFontaine was known commonly as ""The Voice of God."" He did voiceovers for over 5,000 movie trailers and hundreds of thousands of previews for television shows and video games.
Still not sure if you've heard him? Try to imagine any movie trailer in recent memory, especially ones that begin with the phrase ""In a world..."" LaFontaine coined that introduction and used it so often that it has become a frequently parodied term, most notably by comedian Pablo Francisco. LaFontaine was happy to live a life of anonymity until 2006, when a series of Geico commercials featured him as ""that announcer guy from the movies."" Even with that innocuous introduction, LaFontaine's name still appeared at the bottom of the screen, and suddenly Mr. Movies himself had a name.
Ironically, LaFontaine's voiceover work included promotions for previous editions of the Academy Awards. So, despite LaFontaine's immeasurable influence on the industry, the Academy found that honoring 38 other Hollywood figures while omitting LaFontaine and Carlin seemed reasonable. Why not include the two of them and make it an even 40? Did Carlin and LaFontaine have a ""no being eulogized by a singing and dancing Queen Latifah"" clause in their wills? Because that I would understand. Otherwise, there is no excuse. So, in a way of honoring LaFontaine, please take the time to read the last paragraph of this column in your head using the voice of ol' Thunder Throat.
In a world where the Academy forgets to honor one of the most influential men in their industry, I get mad. And when I get mad, I get even. This summer, Kevin Slane is ""The Raging Reporter."" Coming soon to theaters everywhere.
Want to come hang out at Kevin's house, smoke a pack of cigarettes and watch Pablo Francisco's bit on Don LaFontaine while trying to imitate his beautiful voice? Knock on his door, or E-mail him at kevslane@gmail.com.
