With redemption on their minds and scruff above their lips, Daily Cardinal staffers embarrassed The Badger Herald Friday in the annual Cardinal-Herald Football Classic.
Unwilling to leave the game in the referees' hands as it did in a rare loss last year, the Cardinal jumped out to a huge lead early in the game and never looked back, winning 26-12 on the fields of Vilas Park.
Quarterback Tom Shield led the mustached Cardinal squad, running for a touchdown and passing for two while mounting a 19-0 halftime lead.
Shield dismantled the Herald defense so thoroughly that Chancellor Biddy Martin - who had come to see the first Cardinal-Herald contest during her tenure - left not long after she arrived.
I've seen enough,"" Martin said. ""You guys [the Cardinal] obviously have it in the bag.""
And have it in the bag they did. The Cardinal coasted in the second half, containing the Herald offense with its unyielding pressure on quarterback Ben Voelkel.
Defensive lineman Nate Carey recorded four sacks, and on one play - after forcing Voelkel to dump the ball off to center Becky Vevea - pivoted and dove for Vevea, detaching her flag and causing her to fall flat on her face.
""That was definitely a metaphor for how the game went,"" Carey said. ""Not the sort of metaphor I'd expect the Herald to understand or have any sense of humor about - but the point is that after we were done with him, Voelkel made Allan Evridge look like Brett Favre.""
Voelkel admitted that his failure to compete was due in part to Carey's dominating pressure, but also because the Cardinal had his receivers - much like campus news - completely covered.
The Herald squad appeared unathletic and confused all game, twice ripping the pants of Cardinal players instead of grabbing their flags.
""I thought that was a little ironic, as it was in fact their defense that came apart at the seams,"" Cardinal co-head coach Ben Breiner mused as he thoughtfully stroked his fu-manchu.
Championing a ""1-0"" philosophy going into the game in an attempt to forget a horrid record against the Cardinal in previous contests, the Herald was left making rationalizations less sound than the sources on which they base their top news stories.
""Well... in losing, we kept our overall record partly in line with the '1-0' mantra,"" Herald Editor-in-Chief Tom Schalmo said.
""We still only have a '1' in the win column all-time against the Cardinal, and it's the win column that matters,"" Schalmo added. ""I mean, that's what he [Bret Bielema] means when he says that, right?""
In an attempt to save face, the Herald challenged the Cardinal to a post-game flip-cup contest, but, alas, were again outmatched and fell 4-2.
