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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Thursday, June 13, 2024

Working out best remedy for tight jeans

The weather cooled down this weekend, and I thought it might be time to trade in the sundress for a solid pair of jeans. I opened my bottom drawer and stared into the diverse accumulation of pants from high school years to present. I sighed, glanced up and shouted out in pain at the thought of deciding what to wear. 


I hate jeans!"" I shouted to whichever roommate was listening. To my pleasure, they all responded with diligent agreement. One even confessed to coming close to tears when jean shopping.  

Jeans and the female population have always shared a bittersweet relationship. Women love a nice, comfy pair of jeans, but finding that perfect pair can be more painful than watching thousands of Germans scream at David Hasselhoff in the '80s. Seriously though, why do all the Germans love that man? It completely boggles my mind.  


Between a full academic load, interning and training for a marathon, you would think I could keep the pounds off, allowing every pair of jeans to fit beautifully. Well, considering the leftover chocolate shake I just ate for breakfast, maybe not.  


Fortunately, science has given me new hope, and I'm not talking about liposuction. According to an article recently published in The New York Times, many overweight Americans are still considered healthy. According to a report in The Archives of Internal Medicine, half of overweight people are healthy. On the other side of things, one-fourth of skinny people are considered unhealthy.  


This research received criticism from a few, and I'm not a health expert by any means, but I say give everybody some hope!  


The report also stated that fitness is a better determining factor of mortality than weight. Apparently, people who exercise and can stay on a treadmill for more than eight minutes live longer than skinny people who are out of shape.  

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Being obese has more health risks, but it does not necessarily guarantee that a person is unhealthy. This is a new frame of thought for many people. It's kind of like wrapping your mind around the question of how Miley Cyrus could possibly be a celebrated musician. But then you remember the Jonas Brothers, and it makes a little bit more sense, but only a little. The two just don't seem to fit. But now according to science, it just may work.  


As I slurp down my nutritious, delicious chocolate shake for breakfast, I watch Ironmen and women take over Madison. I think about my breakfast, my jeans and my lack of plans for physical activity that evening. I like to think I'm healthy, that I won't die before age 50 (well, all 21-year-olds are immortal anyway, right?) and that all Ironmen are insane, but perhaps my perceptions of fitness are all wrong.  


Perhaps all overweight people will outlive me, and all skinny people will die next week. Just like asking how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, the world may never know.  


If you know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, e-mail Emily at  


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