I think there is some secret TA handbook for how to begin the semester. It's always the same the first time you walk into your discussion group. The TA gets up, makes some comment like, I know this is so lame, but we're going to go around the room and introduce ourselves. Say your name, year, major and something interesting."" The next 20 minutes proceed to teach you the most important thing you will learn in the first week - introductions are boring.
Therefore, I'm not going to introduce myself. I'm going to talk about a bunch of songs that talk about introductions.
Any list of songs about introductions has to include ""Sympathy for the Devil"" by the Rolling Stones. From that creepy, suave, ""Please allow me to introduce myself,"" to the endless repetitions of ""woo-woo"" at the end, the entire song questions our preconceptions about humanity and the nature of evil. Besides, who knew that a song about Dick Cheney could be so catchy?
Next is ""The Legionnaire's Lament"" by the Decemberists. I include this for several reasons. First, as a music snob, I am obligated to include a mention of the Decemberists in at least 73 percent of conversations I have about music. Second, this counts for double music-snob points because it's not only the Decemberists, it is also their ""earlier work."" Third, I use this song because about one minute and 40 seconds in, the lyrics use the phrase ""medicating in the sun."" Greatest. Facebook status. Ever.
I considered using Jay-Z's ""I Just Wanna Love U"" for this list as well. I decided not to, mostly because I hate it when people substitute the letter ""u"" for the word ""you."" I'm not obsessive about it, but I don't understand it unless you are text messaging. I mean, was there not enough space? Was Jay-Z paying by the letter? Seriously.
Instead, I will use ""Still D.R.E."" by Dr. Dre. Not only does this song advocate proper spelling, it teaches other valuable character traits like international unity (""representing for the gangstas all across the world""), quality workmanship (""taking my time to perfect the beat""), community service (""still got love for the streets""), and consistency (""still puffing my leafs / still fucking with beats / still not loving police / still rock my khakis with a cuff in the crease,"" etc). This song is a gold mine of moral wealth.
I couldn't decide what song I wanted to use to end this list. I thought about ""Escape (The Pina Colada Song)"" by Rupert Holmes, a song about the benefits of cheating on your significant other. I also thought about ""Guns and Cigarettes"" by Atmosphere. The song mirrors the narcissism obvious in my mug shot with lyrics like, ""I wanna be bigger than Jesus / bigger than wrestling / bigger than the Beatles / and bigger than breast implants.""
However, I finally decided on ""Art Bitch"" by CSS. Not only does this singer introduce herself in the lyrics - ""I'm not an artist, I'm an art bitch / I sell my painting to the men I eat"" - she makes a pretty valid point. I'm sure other valid points could be made about me writing all this about music instead of contributing anything to the art, but I'm out of space. Maybe next time.
Think the ""Overture of 1812"" is still the best musical introduction? Send Dale a thundering welcome to dpmundt@wisc.edu.
