I can't really think of anything better than finally buying that food you've been craving forever and saving it for the perfect time so you can savor it, bathe in it, etc. For me, it's sometimes Fruit Loops, sometimes Hot Pockets, and other times smoked salmon (I have strange eating habits).
The problem with the anticipation and built-up excitement of getting home and going to town on that big slab of lox, for example, is that sometimes you might be let down. I'm not talking about the flavor of our favorite foods. Rather, I'm talking about the mysterious case of disappearing food.
This smoke-and-mirrors phenomenon is quite a perplexing conundrum. At first you are in shock, but then you're pulling out the guns and ready to blame the first person who crosses you.
Unfortunately, I've had a lot of my prized refreshments stolen right out from under me, and let me tell you, it is usually an inside job. My oversized family (in number, not in physical stature) are masters of robbing me of my guilty pleasures, so I'm going to tell you about a few infuriating instances.
Once, for my birthday in high school, my best friend gift-wrapped two boxes of prepackaged Rice Krispies Treats - one of my secret all-time favorites - and put them in my locker. I was so happy and excited for a new snack to bring home. However, something very curious happened.
For reasons unknown, I had left the treats unattended in my room (still in the box) and forgot about them for a few weeks. Slowly but surely, I began to see Rice Krispies wrappers showing up around my house in various trash receptacles. I figured maybe my mom had bought them for my four younger siblings, so I thought nothing of it.
Then, one day, I found a wrapper in my bathroom garbage can. I slowly went over to the two boxes of 12 - empty! Turns out one of my sisters had been sneaking into my room and stealing them one at a time.
Now, you might assume I confronted her right then and there. I did not. I used this information against her for some time, waited until the timing was perfect and then humiliated her in front of the rest of the family. To this day, she denies it, but I know the truth.
Another situation happened more recently. There is this one pizza place at home that makes a special slice unlike any other. Behold the Mezza Luna salad slice. It's genius.
Anyway, I wait all year to get home so I can have my slice of balsamic vinaigrette-covered heaven. Over Winter Break last year, I got a piece the day I arrived back in New Jersey. I had a few bites, cried tears of joy, went into the city for the night with my friends and thought about the pizza on the entire ride home.
I walked into my door at around 3 a.m. craving the pizza more than anyone can ever know, only to find it missing. Vanished into thin air! No pizza box in sight, I combed the fridge looking through every tin foil wrapped item possible, but nothing. I asked my mom about it the next day and all I got in response was a curt, I ate it."" I am still not over it.
Even in my apartment at school, there are times when a roommate may get carried away and eat too much of someone else's ... I don't know, hummus maybe.
I'm sure that you have all experienced similar situations and are never going to get over that initial bitter letdown. The worst part is that you never know who will strike next. Protect yourself and your groceries! Know your enemy, trust no one and keep a close watch on your fridge at all times.
Don't look away from your food! But e-mail Ariel if you have been hit by a food bandit at akraut@wisc.edu.
