The lights dim, and the room seems rather stuffy in the warm September night. The couch is just right - not too soft that getting out of it is a pain, or hard enough that it requires a shift in weight every five minutes.
The anticipation is almost too much to bear, and then it happens. From the deepest and darkest part of the room, a voice blurts out those six precious words you've been waiting seven months to hear: Are you ready for some football?""
Ah yes, the NFL is back. For the next five months, nothing else matters. To many Wisconsinites, the Milwaukee Brewers will become obsolete, especially in Green Bay, and only the parents of the high school athletes will truly care how their teams perform.
Fantasy leagues are underway, and the money is flying into Vegas at an unbelievable rate.
So what can be expected of the upcoming season? Who will win it all, and what team will be this year's feel-good story and whose fans will be looking toward April's NFL Draft before Week 9?
These are all questions that have been answered over and over again by the likes of ESPN, NBC, CBS and your mailman.
So why cover all of that again? Why not do something different for a change?
With that said, here are some other forecasts, foreshadows and predictions for the 2008 NFL Season.
First off, Shawne Merriman, who is going to play this season with two torn ligaments in his left knee. He has been advised by not one, not two, but four doctors, all of which have said that he needs to have surgery now and that playing without surgery could potentially cost him his career. But to Merriman, playing makes more sense than surgery ever will.
It is almost endearing to see a player who will ""play through the pain"" nowadays. There is less and less loyalty in the league, and the days of Ray Nitschke hobbling down the field with two bad legs are long gone.
But there is also an idea floating around of this little thing called the ""future,"" something that Merriman fails to recognize. Sure playing football is great, but taking the chance of destroying a knee - and (a) never being able to play again, (b) dealing with the aftermath of an injury for the rest of your life, and (c) fighting the Player's Association to pay for the medical bills - seems a little too high of a price to pay.
It seems borderline idiotic, but who knows... maybe Merriman knows what he is doing.
Prediction: Out by Week 10, may not return for start of 2009 season.
Someone who doesn't know what they are doing, or what they are able to do, is Bengals head coach Marvin Lewis. Now give Lewis some credit. The Bengals had become the jailhouse team of the league, needing only Adam ""Pacman"" Jones to complete the ensemble and Lewis has been trying to clean up the look of the franchise along with the team that steps out onto the field. But in August, what power Lewis had was swiftly taken away from him by team owner Mike Brown, when Brown re-signed troubled wide receiver Chris Henry due to injuries to the Bengals top two wideouts: T.J. Houshmandzadeh and Chad Johnson.
Much like the Seinfeld episode devoted to George's power-struggle against his piano-playing girlfriend, it seems that the Brown-Lewis conflict of 2008 could end the same way.
So now Lewis is coaching a team that has seen the boss come out and put the coach in his place and has witnessed the return of Henry to the locker room. The tension has to be thick enough to cut with a knife.
Prediction: The Bengals will be in the cellar all season and Lewis will either quit or be fired - depending on whether Lewis or Brown flies off the handle first.
In the NFC, the Brett Favre fiasco ruled the headlines, and will not be commented on any further on this page.
Prediction: No one cares anymore.
Tom Brady has a bad toe; Peyton Manning has a bad left knee. Both are still the top two quarterbacks in the league and will probably have better seasons than everyone else... again.
The Minnesota Vikings have no quarterback and the Green Bay Packers defense has looked atrocious all preseason. If only they could combine into one super-hybrid team, ready to fight evil and the injustices that plague planet Earth.
Nah, it's probably better to just despise one another to the point of pure hatred. It's worked this far, so why change now?
Prediction: Packers 10-6, Vikings 9-7.
And now for the rapid fire: Felix Jones will be the most fun of all the rookies to watch, the Saints will have wished they kept Badger alumnus Taylor Mehlhaff, especially when Martin Gramatica breaks his leg while he celebrates kicking the ball out of bounds on a kickoff.
The Jets will win enough games to almost make the playoffs, but much to the chagrin of Packer fans, will just miss out, sending a third round draft pick to Green Bay.
Rashard Mendenhall will finally leave the nightmares of Wisconsin football fans, entering the nightmares of the entire AFC. And of course, the Bears will still suck.
Alright Hank Williams Jr., usher in another season.
If you would like to share your predictions with Nate, e-mail him at ncarey@wisc.edu.
