Hello everyone! Since this is my first column of the year I want to take a line or two to say welcome back and I hope you are all as excited as I am for another year in Madison chock full of some good times and some great ethnic eats. Himal Chuli, holla at your girl!
After finally moving into my apartment and getting settled in, I feel like I've been able to once again start relaxing and enjoying this city at its finest.
However, there is one minor problem that I've had to endure. I really love school, don't get me wrong, but since freshman year I've had a little issue with finance preservation, also known as spending all of my monthly allotment the second the check clears. And as you may have guessed, I love love love to eat, so at times, this can be somewhat of a problem.
I know that I'm not the only college student suffering from this misfortune, so if you are similarly afflicted, have no fear.
My motto is when life gives you lemons, make lemonade"" and not only because that has to do with comestible objects. If you're about ready to give up on the issue of chowing down, pause, take a deep breath and read this. Here are some of my tips, mostly from first-hand experience, for how to eat for free in an ever-inflating world.
My expert guidelines are divided here into a few different categories, depending on what type of person you identify yourself as. Don't worry; you can always resort to dressing up if you don't think you're convincing enough.
First, for the intellectual. Have you ever seen those signs for seminars or UW-funded speakers hailing from other universities? You definitely have - they are the posters we stare at during class or in elevators and immediately make us wish we had a bed to collapse on.
Anyway, even if you have absolutely no interest in homosexual innuendoes in Victorian epic poetry (I just made that up, but it sounds kind of interesting come to think of it), you need to go to one of these oh so stimulating lectures.
COOKIES. The cookies that are served at such lectures and are funded by the Wisconsin Union truly give Insomnia a run for its money. And they are free. Eat five while you're there, and take some for breakfast tomorrow.
For the socially responsible yet financially inadequate, you might want to break out your American Apparel hoodie and eco-friendly shoes and head on over to Whole Foods. Their free samples are usually pretty filling, and you will probably be able to make an entire meal out of it by stealing just a little bit from the Pick and Mix section.
If you're looking for something a little less illegal, then get up early on a Saturday, (it's difficult, I know) and go to the Dane County Farmer's Market. Not only is it earthy and hipster- chic, but you will definitely get to eat your way into oblivion for no money at all. There are samples of cheese, breads, pastries, more cheese and for the adventurous, there's some beef jerky and other meat samples out there, too.
If you're more of a no frills, desperate type of person, you may want to try dumpster diving. No, I'm joking. But, fridge cruising could work for you. It's a simple thing, really. Go with your friends to a crowded prebar at some random acquaintance's apartment.
Instead of heading straight for the keg, you can go into the fridge and pretend you're looking for something while you silently and inconspicuously hoard food left and right into your pockets or bag. It's a little low, but you need to eat right? I swear I've never done this; I'm just trying to give you as many options as possible.
If you are fun loving, (let's face it, we go to UW-Madison so we all are) the best and most effective way to get some free food is to get intoxicated. I mean totally obliterated, plastered, I can't remember what I did five minutes ago, drunk. If you're really inebriated, it's okay to go to DP Dough, sneak behind the counter, and help yourself to some calzone toppings and raw cookie dough by the handful. It's a buffet. It's fine.
And if you're really drunk and unexpecting, you may just happen to be lucky enough as I was one night to come across a Toppers delivery boy giving out gift certificates for Topperstix outside of Mad Ave. (I love me some Toppers). Needless to say, it was a gift from the gods and one of the main contributors to my personal Freshman Fifteen. Whoever invented late night food was a genius.
So the moral of this story is...be smart, be ghetto, be a hipster or be drunk. No matter which way you go, you'll be eating for free and maybe you'll be able to conserve some much needed funds for more important stuff like alcohol or books. The choice is yours!
If can suggest some clubs that dish out free food or if you have found some tasty treats while dumpster diving, let Ariel know atakraut@wisc.edu.
