A story: One of the movies I couldn't wait for last year was one that I now can't stand the thought of seeing again. When you see as many movies as I do each year, and only turn off one mid-watching, that's something else.
It was Across the Universe,"" Julie Taymor's musical tribute to the Beatles. Like most people, I had heard very little advanced press about it and didn't know what the film was about any more than what I wrote above. The only reason I was so excited about the film was a trailer I saw before last summer's ""Harry Potter"" movie.
The trailer was a scene from the film: the Beatles' ""I've Just Seen a Face"" - their best song no one remembers, by the way - the scene was colorful, the choreography was exciting.
I was sold. I tried to get the assignment to review it for the Cardinal. I tried to convince friends and family to see it with me. I probably would've hitchhiked to the theater if I'd have been assured shotgun. Sadly, I never got there, and ""Universe's"" run in Madison was shorter than it takes to drink the average cup of coffee.
Well, fast-forward to four months later. I finally was able to rent the film on DVD. The movie I dreamed of for months. I could barely contain myself to insert the disc into my player.
Needless to say, it blew. I'm not sure how a movie can be over-stimulating and boring at once, but ""Universe"" did it. It also somehow managed to turn ""With a Little Help from My Friends"" into a drinking song, but that's neither here nor there.
Sadly, ""Across the Universe"" is not the first time I've been fooled by one of these conning attractions. I, and hundreds of thousands like me, was seduced by the trailer for ""Pearl Harbor"" where I was led to believe it was a war movie, only to sit through three hours of love story with a 10-minute battle scene thrown in. I couldn't imagine how amazing Godzilla would look running around New York City when the trailer failed to show the creature.
When shown in 45-second snippets, I'm relatively sure anything can look entertaining; I can't prove it, but I'm 99 percent certain that's why even the worst Rob Schneider or Matthew McConaughey movies still find an audience (also, it's the reason the Geico cavemen made popular commercials but painful television.)
If trailers were ice cream, they'd somehow be able to morph themselves from one flavor in your free sample into some other flavor when you bought the whole cone. Maybe you'll like it and maybe you won't, but the fact is that the ice cream parlor already has your money.
Why the trailer makers haven't become filmmakers doesn't make sense to me. The people who make trailers must be the best salesmen in the world. I'd almost consider taking one on your next big date.
Hey, if they can make ""Baby Geniuses"" look like a good idea...
To secure a major motion picture trailer editor to highlight your best for your next date, contact Brad at boron@wisc.edu.
