There's been a lot of talk this year about why the Milwaukee Brewers, who once stood high atop the National League Central Division standings, have fallen out of first place and, quite possibly, out of the playoffs.
Some have criticized the starting pitching, which these days seems to serve up more meatballs than a neighborhood Olive Garden. Others have lamented the Brew Crew's inability to get timely hits.
Still others have attacked manager Ned Yost for his poor game strategies and failure to manufacture runs through base stealing and bunting.
Yet more than anything else, Yost has been abused by the press and sports pundits for his horrific management of his burned-out and beleaguered bullpen.
However, most writers and fans do not know the whole story. Yost's reluctance to make the call to the pen stems not from overall thick-headedness when it comes to understanding the game of baseball, but rather, from his frequent trips to the bathroom.
Every time I turn around, Ned's making another run to the can,"" Brewers' bench coach Dale Svuem said during a recent interview. ""I really don't get it.""
Milwaukee pitchers also seemed baffled by their skipper's numerous disappearances.
""When I kept giving up runs against the Rockies, I thought to myself, 'He has to take me out after that one, he has to take me out after that one. But no, nothing happened,"" pitcher Yovani Gallardo said.
Yost's ""pit-stops,"" as he refers to them, have not only caused him to leave battered pitchers in the game too long, but have also caused him to make pre-emptive switches for fear of future calls from nature.
Such a scenario unfolded in a recent game against the Houston Astros. Up 7-5 in the eighth inning, Yost decided to pull the normally reliable left-handed reliever Brian Shouse after he faced only one batter. Pitching coach Mike Maddux, questioned Yost's thought process.
""I asked him why he did it and he said he was playing the percentages,"" Maddux said.
Yost confirmed the remarks.
""I knew the batter hit worse against righties,"" Yost said. ""But more importantly; I knew the chances of me having to take a pit-stop increased with every pitch. I didn't want to spend five minutes running to the clubhouse and back knowing I'd leave Shousey out there too long.""
Despite the fact that right-handed reliever Greg Aquino gave up a triple which plated two runs, Yost maintained that the strategy had worked to perfection.
""In the time it took for Greggy to warm up, I took a pit-stop and made it back in time to watch the action,"" he said.
While Yost remained optimistic, players and coaches voiced their concerns.
""I think he needs to get checked out,"" the always compassionate Kevin Mench said. ""Not 'cause I care about his health, but 'cause it's killing our chances of getting to the postseason. And if we don't make it to the playoffs, I don't get that sweet bonus. Seriously, I've got bills to pay.""
First base coach Bill Sedar also offered his medical opinion.
""I told Ned he might not have a going problem, but a growing problem,"" Sedar said. ""Actually, I don't know what the hell's wrong with the guy. I've just been watching those commercials on TV, you know the ones about the enlarged prostate. It creeps me out to tell you the truth.""
