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Sunday, May 25, 2025

Jock Strap SATIRE: Herbstreit criticizes realism in NCAA College Football '08

ESPN analyst Kirk Herbstreit usually dissects offensive plays or ridicules players and coaches every Saturday during the college football season.  

 

But yesterday, Herbstreit began to criticize EA Sports' latest chapter in the video game saga known as NCAA College Football '08.  

 

Herbstreit, who apparently is an avid player of the popular video game, voiced his opinion about the lack of realism in this year's final product.  

 

I always play with Ohio State,"" Herbstreit said. ""I mean, who else is there to play with? It is a no-brainer."" 

 

According to Herbstreit, he was nearing the end of his first season when it came time for the unranked Buckeyes to play the Wisconsin Badgers, an undefeated team who was ranked third overall in the college polls.  

 

As Herby started the game, he quickly became appalled and had to turn off his system when it came time for the video game Herbstreit to pick the winner, and he picked Wisconsin to win.  

 

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""I became sick to my stomach. I haven't picked Wisconsin to win a game for years, and I don't plan to anytime soon, so when that pick happened I lost all respect for the game,"" Herbstreit shrieked. ""The Badgers are nothing more than practice for my Buckeyes, and we have never, nor will we ever, lose to them."" 

 

When reminded that the Badgers have beaten OSU multiple times, and even defeated OSU while Herbstreit himself was the starting quarterback, Herbstreit only ran around the room until he passed out from exhaustion.  

 

""This is the most unrealistic game on the market, and I have no idea why anyone would buy it,"" Herbstreit said once revived. ""I can't believe that I am part of a product that would pick the better team to win, especially when it is against Ohio State."" 

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