On the cover of Culture Warrior,"" between the title's typeface and a huge, half-obscured American flag, looms its author, Bill O'Reilly. The image is strange""why is the photograph just barely out of focus? Why is Bill wearing a shiny blue windbreaker? And is the hair on top of that big, ubiquitous head glowing? Yes, it's positively burning with white hot light.
Thus are we beckoned to the fifth and latest book from the polarizing host of Fox News' ""The O'Reilly Factor."" In it he finally discards his dubious claim to ideological independence and brands himself a ""traditionalist,"" touting the mantra that ""the United States was well founded and has done enormous good for the world."" His nemesis: the ""secular-progressive (S-P) movement,"" defined frequently and ferociously as shadowy, socialist peaceniks who swoon for France. Judeo-Christian values, capitalism and minimally intrusive government are responsible for America's superpower status on this ""brutal"" planet.
After a blustery first seven pages, not an introduction but an ""Initial Briefing,"" issued from ""Central Command (CENTCOM),"" O'Reilly writes a hypothetical State of the Union address as U.S. President Gloria Hernandez in the year 2020. In his nightmare, the secular-progressives and their predatory taxes triumph, ""touchy-feely"" moral relativism vanquishes self-reliance and hard work, and the leader of the free world ends her speech with, ""and may shared generosity bless America.""
In combating this specter, O'Reilly waves of his presumed rivals, Al Franken and S-P ""clown prince"" Michael Moore, as marginalized and thus unworthy foes. O'Reilly instead targets linguist George Lakoff and ""public enemy number one"" George Soros. He describes their near-mystical powers of persuasion over bloodthirsty, amoral hordes of ""guttersnipes"" bent on demolishing parental authority, criminal justice and Christmas, all the while betraying an ill-concealed craving for such a (real or not) pliable mass of ""acolytes.""
Enabling, preaching and disguising the S-P movement are the ""fascistic"" ACLU, mainstream media, Democratic Party leaders, activist judges, universities (""S-P themeparks""), public schools, the city of San Francisco, etc. Much of O'Reilly's book is comprised of newspapers, pundits and celebrities who've crossed him, or worse, ignored him.
On his side, O'Reilly has an all-star cast of intellectual and moral titans. Unfortunately, they're all dead. Jesus, St. Paul, John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Gandhi and the Founding Fathers are tapped by O'Reilly as traditionalists. For now, though, he's stuck with his loyal ""Factor"" viewers and conservative talk-radio, from which he unconvincingly distances himself because it can't transcend the rhetoric of ""liberal vs. conservative.""
O'Reilly's charm lies in his magnificent hubris. Occasionally it will mingle with his paranoia and yield a gem like ""I'm the spy satellite they desperately want to shoot down."" Mostly though, it manifests as unsolicited, preposterous advice""""respect the nobility of America,"" or ""see the world the way it is, not the way you want it to be.""
The book is a brisk, liberally spaced 209 pages and O'Reilly's prose is blunt, conversational and melodramatic. The military allegory is more irritating than ineffective. ""Jihad,"" ""body count,"" ""flaming arrows,"" etc., are abused to the point that the metaphor disintegrates, and it's soon understood that the poor, old man has simply run out of violent words to use.
""Culture Warrior"" succeeds as a telling portrait of its lonely leader, less so as a call to arms. To viewers of ""The O'Reilly Factor,"" it should resemble a protracted, printed version of his television shtick. Read it for some laughs through clenched-teeth. Or better yet, just watch ""The Colbert Report.""
