People have problems. People want other people to listen to their problems. Sometimes a simple opening of the ears and sealing of the lips makes a world of difference to that needy, vocal individual. An occasional ""that sucks"" or ""man, I hate that"" doesn't hurt, but usually isn't mandatory.
There have been many a time where a confidant pours out their heart and soul to me in what seems to be one breath, only to end in a loud sigh and a plethora of thanks for being ""such a great listener."" Then I realize, I've actually just been sitting on my butt for the past three hours eating my second dinner, or thinking about what to eat for my second dinner. That or possibly planning what to wear if Conan O'Brien were to ask me out on a date.
But listening isn't always enough. Words of advice and encouragement are what many long for, and although no life issues are easily solvable, I find myself wanting to dispense meaningful insight that will actually impact them. After doing some thinking and little research, I've come to the conclusion that I must follow in the footsteps of the most brilliant group of people on earth—the Chinese.
Their presumed intelligence doesn't simply come from their 36s on the ACTs or their better familiarity with the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus than their own zip code. It lies within the poetic imagery they use to reveal life lessons in the form of Chinese proverbs. So I have decided that via the 'verb I will now give advice, and I advise you to do the same.
Rather than asking, ""Gee, have your anti-depressants not kicked in yet, or does someone just have a bad case of the Mondays?"" try to pay attention to a loved one in a subtler way. Put a hand on their shoulder and say, ""A gem is not polished without rubbing, nor a man perfected without trials."" They'll be left feeling comforted and wondering when their friend transformed into Confucius.
Or maybe someone you know is questioning what they're doing and where they're heading in life. They should know it's okay to admit uncertainty and take some time off to reflect. That's why you need, ""He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever."" Powerful stuff, isn't it?
However, I can't say that every proverb will leave its listener that much more enlightened. I don't suggest telling your heart-broken sister, ""Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs."" The same goes for that frustrated friend who can't seem to win the promotion he's been after—""Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement,"" may not go over so well.
But if using an ancient proverb seems a little too ""fortune cookie"" for you, then make up your own; you hold more knowledge than you think. Just remember to use adjectives like ""auspicious"" and words like ""lotus flower"" somewhere in there.
So as you read this and realize that maybe you're actually the one in need of a little advice, let me leave you with this, Grasshopper—The tall man pities the short, but the midget has the last laugh as he pees on the giant's shoe. You can thank me later.
