Freshman ""Fat"" Pat Moriarty reads his Cardinal while selfishly over-indulging in a heaping helping of Hamburger Helper. After gaining his Freshman Fifteen in a mere two weeks, Pat placed a phone call to Over-Eaters Annymous. They couldn't help. When not binging on eats, Pat spends his free time picking fights with old people, white water rafting in Whitewater and scaring innocent children. Pat's cholesterol is through the roof, but boy does he enjoy life and The Daily Cardinal. This burrito's for you Pat!
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