I have two great fears in this world—zombies and demon children. Watching television this week every year turns from an enjoyable experience to an absolute nightmare.
I casually flip through the channels, oblivious to the effects of the coming holiday. Then all of the sudden, sorority girl vampires attacking innocent library patrons pop up on the screen.
""What the hell!"" I scream, surprised and afraid. ""This is ABC Family! Not Sci Fi!"" Sadly, this was a real made-for-TV movie about sorority girls who turn their pledges into vampires that prey on the college campus.
It's usually the case that if I avoid Channel 51, Sci Fi, I remain naA_ve and unafraid—thinking the world is a perfect place of reality TV and ""Full House"" reruns. But during Halloween week, it's any zombie's game. And I live in fear of my remote.
No longer can I turn to AMC with delightful surprise at what movie might be on. It will more than likely be a ""Friday the 13th"" marathon or Johnny Depp getting sucked into his mattress by Freddy Krueger.
Not even the kiddie channels are safe from the fright fests which govern the dials. I switched to Nickelodeon hoping for a happy-go-lucky episode of ""SpongeBob SquarePants."" Instead, I was visited by a horrifying ghost from my past—a marathon of ""Are You Afraid of the Dark?""
Nickelodeon does a fine job with its programming, but what are they thinking? If a college senior is hiding under her blankets from the evil clown who stalks a young child, I have trouble believing it was appropriate when I was eight. That show scares the bejeebus out of me!
There is, however, one safe and adorable haven from the scary dribble that haunts my television set once each year. The most endearing Halloween story of all time: ""It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!""
Joined by the likes of its famous counterpart, ""The Charlie Brown Christmas Special,"" these half-hour ""Peanuts"" cartoons celebrate their 40th anniversary this year.
For those of you who did not watch this obligatory masterpiece: Linus is convinced there is a magical being similar to Santa Claus called the Great Pumpkin who visits children on Halloween to give them all the candy they can eat. Linus' search and belief in The Great Pumpkin, and Charlie Brown's attempts to fit in at a Halloween party embody a comical spirit of what Halloween is to me.
Some people believe Halloween is all about being scared so bad you have to sleep with the light on. For me it's about dressing silly, party time and the Peanuts gang—the only kids on my TV this week who aren't possessed by Satan.
