This guy, this big guy right here, he's the beer bong drinking champion,"" a man in a San Diego State mock turtleneck said, pointing to his friend. The self declared 1982 world beer bong champion was warming up for his return to glory, slowly sipping a lukewarm Miller Lite and brushing the dirt off of his world champion beer belly.
""We've only done one this morning, but from ‘78 to ‘82 we were doing about five a weekend,"" he continued. ""But this guy""—he slapped his friend on the back— ""this guy here won the award for drinking the biggest beer bong. He drank...""—he paused in awe.
""He drank four complete beers!""
World champion beer bonger Jim Hench-—father of two and former surfer—stepped up to the one-story beer bong on Mills Street. He paused, gazed back at his admiring entourage of tanned San Diego State alums, put his mouth on some plastic tubing and broke the beer bong.
""Party foul! Party foul!"" the crowd chanted. Hench tried to fix the beer bong, but his efforts, just like that of the San Diego offense, were in vain.
The Badger fans off of Randall Avenue were having much more luck in quickly consuming beer. A one story six-person beer bong, complete with defoamer and boasting a beer capacity of 20, dangled enticingly over a porch. Mainly designed and constructed by UW-Madison junior Jason Nell when he and his roommates decided that one tube was just not cutting it, the beer bong cost approximately $130 and ""a lot of heart, soul and sweat.""
""We refer to it as ‘the hexabong',"" he said matter-of-factly. They hold beer bong races, but this morning boasts an even more elaborate beer drinking event: a three generational beer bong.
Lined up and ready for beer is the spry grandfather, Dick Haase. His first beer bong was at the Ohio State game in 2003 and this afternoon will be his third. And what does he think of beer bongs?
Quite simply: ""They are very good!""
On his left is the eager mother, Sue Koller, who usually takes one beer bong before a game, although her record is four. She finds this contraption far easier than a regular beer bong, but can take just about anything.
""I once did a whole pitcher,"" she said. ""And I took it, but it was brutal.""
On her left is the son, 20-year-old Sam Evans. He's already taken two beer bongs today.
The beer bong is filled, there's a countdown and—a cellphone rings.
""One sec dude, I'm doing a beer bong,"" a boy at the end of the line said. ""I'll call you right back.""
After a little bit of confusion, everything is reordered, the receivers are in position and it's all over in a matter of seconds. The familial order: Sam first, his mother second—probably only by a millisecond—and then the grandfather.
""And that's why he's 20,"" Koller said, ""and he's 50. I mean 72.""
