I'm addicted to food porn. You know, the mouth-watering images of indulgent delights that have made the Food Network one of cable television's most popular. And this weekend, I hit rock-bottom: I indulged in a seven-hour culinary orgy known as the Madison Food & Wine Show. But you know what? I'm not sorry, I'm not ashamed and in fact, any foodie worth their weight in chocolate must experience this.
The 2006 show wrapped up this past Sunday. The fifth-annual exhibition brought the very best of Wisconsin to Madison, attracting more than 125 exhibitors. Nearly every restaurant, winery and (of course) brewery in the county came to the Alliant Energy Center to showcase their very best in fine cuisine and extraordinary drink.
Upon entering the edible extravaganza on Saturday, my pulse jumped to a crack-induced pace. After conquering my gastronomic adrenaline rush, my guest and I determined a rational approach was in order—a slow, systematic progression through each aisle.
Maintaining this methodical plan proved nearly impossible with the allure of surrounding exhibitors quickly altering our course to a zig-zagging mess.
The greatest challenge, however, was keeping my dignity. Our canvas goodie bags, while necessary, are essentially man-purses. Further questioning my masculinity was my apparently feminine taste in beverages: On numerous occasions, I was told that the wine/beer/coffee I preferred was the most popular among women.
My mangled ego rebounded with the sampling of more (and more) wine. While I'm not a big wine fan, the show has something for every palate. An apple-spiced wine, served warm, could warm the coldest of winter days. And real, imported French wine needs no words.
After one full round, I was exhausted, feeling much like the girl in Willy Wonka that turns into a giant blueberry. Luckily, the show also featured cooking demonstrations by the most talented chefs in the Madison area. While I got my second wind, I watched Peter Robertson of R.P. Pasta create chocolate ravioli, filled with tiramisu and covered in melted mascarpone cheese. Yup, chocolate pasta. Incredible.
For fans of the Food Network, the show brings Unwrapped, Good Eats and all the cooking shows to real life. It also features the Dueling Chefs competition. While most of you were crazily cheering for the Badgers on Saturday, I was letting loose with roaring cheers for garlic.
Following my entertainment, I summoned my strength and appetite and rallied for round two. By this time, it seemed the well-dressed Madisonians in attendance had been spending far more time sampling wine than food. The show had taken a raucous turn, with the inebriated, stomach-stuffed crowd stumbling back for seconds right along with me.
Midway through round two, I snuck out to the Cigar Patio for a break. The patio was filled with a wonderful aroma and populated with snooty-looking men puffing their expensive stogies. Now I know nothing about cigars, but apparently neither did these phonies. They struggled to keep face, coughing constantly and one even asked me which side of his cigar he was supposed to light.
By the time I finished the second round, my stomach was nearing the breaking point. I decided to make one last trip, just for my favorites. A delicious prime rib sandwich from the Dry Bean, crab cakes from Johnny's Italian Steakhouse and egg nog from Whole Foods rounded out my night.
Time had flown by—seven hours of stuffing my face—and I realized I had missed the bus back to campus. Luckily, my guest and I ran into some friendly, drunk, middle-aged women who offered us a ride home. Yes, they did have a sober driver, but no, we did not realize they were UW-Madison English professors—until later. But that's another story for another time.
The real story here is that the Madison Food & Wine Show is an incredible event for Madison. The finest food establishments in Wisconsin attract new appreciation as guests are treated to the most diverse and quality buffet one can imagine. The price tag—steep for the college budget—is justified: Madison Magazine uses the show to support Gilda's Club, a cancer society co-chaired by none other than Barry Alvarez.
For every passionate person, there are certain must-do's—college basketball fans go to the Final Four, art fans go to the Louvre, Vikings fans go on a sex cruise. So foodies listen up: It may be too late to attend the 2006 edition, but mark your calendars for 2007, and begin drooling now.
