My professor is evil. Yours too? Fine, so they're all out to get us. But does yours starve you? Didn't think so.
It all started on the first day of class, when my (more than slightly) anal Econ 101 professor decided to dictate how to ""economically"" manage the 168 hours in a week. Gotta sleep, gotta study, etc. Duh lady. The hordes of freshmen in the class furiously scribbled down her strict scheduling—one even asked if it would be on the exam.
She meant well, but here's where the bomb drops: In her ""hierarchy of scheduling,"" she left a measly four hours per week for eating—including time spent grocery shopping and preparing food. Four hours! I consume food faster than most, and I still figured out I spend about four hours per day eating.
Miss Perfect then suggested that if everyone followed her schedule, the U.S. economy would increase its productivity. With an anorexic work force? Excuse me Miss, but last time I checked starvation wasn't helping Paris Hilton work any harder.
Let's just imagine this ""ideal"" world: The Food Nazi has effectively murdered breakfast (blasphemy!), and traffic accidents will abound as we all stuff our faces on the freeway. Hypoglycemic rage will turn the workplace into a war zone. And then we'll likely pass out on the drive home, leading to more accidents.
Ironically, most of us would probably gain weight. In the rush to grub, McDonalds would become the only viable option. Maybe the Food Nazi is on to something: We'd have to spend more money, relying on prepared foods, and the health care industry would rise to new heights, bolstered by the blubbered bellies of a true Fast Food Nation.
Oddly enough, she did assert that mealtimes should be social occasions. Somehow I think the few moments allotted to eating would be spent with our mouths dangerously full. We would have to create a language based on jaw movements, fork motions and hearty grunts.
My outrage leads me to my last point: Many of you are thinking I'm at the other extreme, a bit too into food. Granted, I am more obsessed with food than anyone I know. But something tells me there are plenty of you out there who plan your day morsel by morsel instead of minute by minute.
I talk to other columnists. They get e-mail. Granted, food may not be as controversial, but I would argue it is just as rousing as political discourse.
So give me a shout. If you have something you'd like me to look at, write about or eat, let me know. If you hate my writing, please do tell. And if you've been dying to start up the UW Eating Team, I'm your captain.
As for my econ professor, it's too early to give up on her. So I will end by pointing out the one redeeming point she made: If you schedule time for everything else first, you can spend all your free time eating!
