UW-Madison has arguably one of the most fabulous study-abroad programs in the country, with destinations ranging from the exotic beaches of Brazil to timeless cities like London and Paris to the adventurous lands of Australia.
While parents often hope studying overseas will help a foreign language finally sink into their child's brain, most undergraduates are mainly looking forward to a different lifestyle. They know that soon sipping a Mojito in a bar will be legal, that European nude beaches are proliferating and nightclubs with actual dancing really do exist. But most of all, they know that their foreign fling may just be steps away.
One of the first thoughts many of these American students share is that young adults abroad are much more forward than people in the United States.
In the Netherlands, for example, women are generally thought to be more direct than men, a sentiment UW-Madison senior Lauren Popko found to be very true. She said she met her Dutch dreamboat at a jazz club two months before returning to the States and got hooked on the European way of loving.
American interactions are usually stigmatized,\ she said. ""There is often a social script that people follow.""
Her new sweetheart, however, does not abide by these rules, and neither does she anymore.
For UW-Madison junior Lauren Barker, who spent time in France, the forwardness of French men was obvious when she was approached coming out of a Metro station in Paris. The Frenchie just went up to her and started talking, she said, and the encounter led to a romance during which she felt more comfortable and taken care of.
""He was more sexually open, more sexually overt … American guys aren't that outgoing,"" she said.
Some students, however, found this sort of forwardness to be overbearing in some countries.
UW-Madison junior Justine Wenger said she felt ""bitter and angry"" while traveling in India because men went so far as to try and touch or bump into her accidentally.
""They were over the top,"" she said, ""always whistling and calling out to me by dirty English words, giving me wide-eyed stares.""
Rob Howell, interim director of International Academic Programs at UW-Madison, said he warns students who study abroad to be careful, especially women. He said the dangers that exist at UW-Madison continue to be issues in foreign countries and advised students to make their intentions very clear and known—and of course, not to abuse drugs or alcohol.
""Usually students who are victimized had much greater access to alcohol,"" he said.
Another recurrent remark among students studying abroad is that their overseas significant others seem more passionate.
UW-Madison junior Tyler Kruzicki said he met an attractive Venezuelan during his semester in Paris, and that their cultural differences had a huge impact on the relationship.
""Latin Americans are so warm and giving,"" he said. ""They don't expect anything in return, whereas in the U.S., even relationships are economically driven. It was very refreshing that I didn't have to always reciprocate.""
UW-Madison senior Ash Kini said he had the same type of experience with a guy, Joe, from London he met in a bar on his last night. When Joe visited Kini in Madison a couple of months later he brought gifts, like ""gingerbread from London thinking it didn't exist here,"" left little things in Kini's room before he left and bought him to remember him by. In general, Kini said he thought Joe ""was willing to put more effort into it than me.""
Most American students studying abroad recognize that relationships also tend to be more charming and romantic in other countries.
Wenger, who traveled to Paris in addition to the time she spent in India, said her boyfriend in France would cook her romantic dinners and pay for her when they went out—and during the dinners, he was always very polite and interested in getting to know her. She also said their conversation topics were broader than the usual American dating conversation.
""We talked about the outside world,"" she said.
Kini said another difference he noticed traveling in Europe is that ""it's all about presentation"" when you go out—you pay more attention to what you are wearing and how you act at the dinner table.
UW-Madison alum Kristof Wickman, who is dating a French student, added that very good table manners are essential in Europe.
""I get chastised for using my fork as a cutting devise,"" he said.
In addition to these differences in ""date etiquette,"" students also noted differences in the levels of communication. In the United States, many students feel that dating seems saturated by unsaid rules and blurry vocabulary. For example, during a workshop about dating, organized last year for foreign students studying at UW-Madison, confusion arose when a bold foreign student asked the coordinators of the event what the expression ""hooking up"" implied in the United States. Answers from the staff varied from ""holding hands"" to ""having sex.""
In many European countries, on the other hand, the opposite is true. Wenger said this was one of the biggest differences she noticed between relationships in the United States and the way she interacted with her boyfriend in France.
""He was very up front about his feelings. He was not playing games,"" she said.
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