There can never be too much of a good thing, especially when it comes to food. With this philosophy in mind, I decided last week to abandon all nutritional recommendations and indulge in a diet of purely junk food. It was a week filled with ups and downs—a blood sugar roller coaster—which left me seeking solace in the Green Giant.
Mind you, this was no all-out binge. I was mindful of calories, trying not to eat any more than I would in a normal day. Really, it's not all that hard to do. When you down a Snickers after a big meal it can be a problem, but on its own the lump of peanutty goodness has a mere 250 calories. Aiming for 2,500 to 3,000 calories, that means I could eat 10 to 12 without growing a bulging belly.
The first day started off well enough, my eyes lighting up with every bag of greasy chips, gooey cookie or flaky pastry I spotted. What's more, junk food is easy on the wallet. It seemed I had found the answer to all life's problems.
That enthusiasm wore off by the first afternoon, however. Having downed a doughnut, some Frips from the Union and a chocolate malt, I quite frankly felt like shit.
The rest of the week was much the same—mornings filled with happy munching of greasebombs both sweet and salty, followed by afternoons of sloth as my stomach battled the fatty mass.
In the spirit of unhealthiness, I also drank nothing but soda. With blood sugar headaches already ruining my life, I gave in to diet soda, only to suffer another ill effect. It's hard to say whether it was the caffeine or the artificial sweeteners, but I nearly needed Depends to cope with the incessant peeing—and I'm pretty sure I will get bladder cancer later in life.
With the pure energy of simple carbs coursing through my veins, you'd think I would have been an animal at the gym. On the contrary, my constant food coma left me sluggish and energy-sapped.
After days of gluttony, it was the produce department at Copps that brought me to my knees. Broccoli. That's all I wanted. Not dipped in ranch dressing, not stir fried, just pure, unadulterated broccoli.
I admit I gave in\ to this craving and am no longer on the junk food diet. After days interspersed with snacks, I have a renewed appreciation for a solid meal. There is a certain sense of mental closure in finishing a healthy meal, the satisfaction of knowing you have eaten something wholesome.
So perhaps there can be too much of a good thing. Balance is important in every part of life, and nowhere are we reminded of that more than with nutrition. With a new love for the simple pleasures of crisp vegetables and fresh fruit, I will stick to well rounded meals from now on... which end, of course, with dessert!
Chastise Jay for really thinking this was a good idea at storey@wisc.edu.\
