1. Nude Spears sculpture sparks controversy, anti-abortion activism
The tabloids love Britney Spears, and apparently sculptors and anti-abortionists do, too. A controversial nude sculpture on display at Brooklyn's Capla Kesting Fine Art Gallery depicts the starlet in the birthing position on a bearskin rug. The Manhattan Right to Life Committee included the sculpture as part of an anti-abortion exhibition. The artist, Daniel Edwards, told the Associated Press his work reflects Spears as she has depicted herself—seductively.\ 2. Republicans shoot for immigration reform
Lately, the buzzword in Washington, D.C., is immigration. As the debate heats up, majority members of Congress and the president are butting heads over extreme and moderate reforms, causing strife within the Republican party. Some proposals to prevent illegal immigration include: building a more robust fence along the southern U.S. border, increasing border surveillance, making it illegal to provide food or water to immigrants crossing the border, requiring stricter documentation for workers and fining illegal immigrants as part of the process to obtain legal status. The more vigorous opponents of immigration (take note, Bill Frist) should consider stationing Dick Cheney on the border with a hunting rifle.3. Simpson lobbies for smiles
Recently-divorced ""Newlyweds"" star Jessica Simpson lobbied in Washington, D.C., on behalf of the non-profit organization ""Operation Smile."" The group provides free corrective plastic surgery to disadvantaged children with facial deformities. Simpson declined an interview with the president so as to avoid ""politicizing"" her efforts. Thank goodness the starving children look pretty and Southern cronyism didn't interfere.
4. Organized crime rises in Iraq
Despite fewer U.S. casualties and a marked increase in the responsibility of the Iraqi army lately, organized crime in Iraq appears to be on the rise. In the eyes of the U.N. Security Council and words of Secretary General Kofi Annan, the Iraq war is ""illegal,"" making President Bush the godfather of this new organized crime. Meanwhile, Iraqis and Americans await an exit strategy they can't refuse.5. Jack Abramoff tumbles down Capitol Hill, uses pail to collect garbage
In the last two years, Jack Abramoff went from poster boy to jailbird for his lobbying tactics in Washington, D.C. Abramoff pleaded guilty to tax evasion, bribery charges and defrauding American Indian tribes Jan. 3. The court sentenced Abramoff and fellow defendant Adam Kidan on March 29 to 70 months in prison, $21 million in restitution and 750 hours of community service. For agreeing to assist the federal-corruption probe, Abramoff will get to keep his white collar for another 90 days. Afterward, expect to see him wearing an orange jumpsuit, picking up trash somewhere around Capitol Hill. \
