The Badger Baloney is obviously fake news—merely a satirical commentary on life in Madison. Except in the case of public figures, the people are not real.
The saga of Kammron Taylor's missing shot, which captured the attention of the national media, ended late yesterday after it turned up in a marsh area a few miles from campus. The welcome news of Taylor's shot, gone since mid-February, was marred by police suspicions that it may have staged its own disappearance.
I am pleased to announce that Kam Taylor's shot has been found,\ Madison Police Chief Noble Wray said at a press conference. ""The shot, a bit tired and thirsty, will be heading home after it answers a few more questions downtown.""
In a statement to the press Taylor expressed ""relief"" that his shot had been found and wished to ""express his gratitude to the many people who helped in its recovery.""
The disappearance of the shot was clearly a distraction for Taylor, whose highly touted skill was almost non-existent in the second half of the Big Ten season and the Wisconsin Badger men's basketball team's horrific loss to the Arizona Wildcats in the NCAA tournament. Taylor's shot, quite apparent in the 24 points scored versus Penn State on Feb. 11, vanished shortly before the Feb. 15 game against Ohio State.
Reports of his shot gone missing, dozens of volunteers traveled from Taylor's hometown of Minneapolis to comb through marshes and woods near campus. Upon its discovery, the shot claimed it had been abducted by a knife-wielding man. Police, upon further questioning of Kammron's shot, have begun to suspect that the shot-napper may be fictitious.
Sources within the MPD have said that inconsistencies with the shot's story and video surveillance evidence of it purchasing several items, including a knife, duct tape, and rope, that were discovered near the marsh it was found in have created doubts surrounding the case's circumstances.
""Taylor's shot, with all the pressure to be scoring complement to Alando Tucker, just needed to get away,"" the source told The Badger Baloney.
Kammron Taylor's press release did not address any of the police's new questions, but stated that ""Kammron and his shot hope to return next season with a passion and consistency not seen enough in 2006.""
UW men's basketball coach Bo Ryan expressed similar optimism for Taylor and his shot. ""Having sorely missed Kam's shot for much of the season I hope to welcome it back next year,"" he said.
National media outlets, such as CNN and Fox News, had devoted numerous hours to the ongoing story. Critics have argued that while many basketball players' shots go missing each day, news media jumped at this story for the attractive nature of the Taylor's shot.
""Mr. Taylor's shot, with its ability to be released quickly off the dribble or from a high screen set around the arc, made it particularly interesting for the press who are hungry for a ‘missing things' story with something attractive in it,"" said media commentator Arrina Kensington. ""But what about the less than attractive bricks, air balls and shot blocks? Where is the national coverage for these poor shots?""
Online content: http://uwbadgerblog.blogspot.com.\
