Today, we commemorate the patron saint that helped star-crossed lovers elope under the reign of an evil (and presumably impotent) Emperor who banned any and all nuptials in his land. Today, we celebrate the euphemistically 'persistent''realistically 'clueless''prisoner who apparently thought his crush would go for a guy behind bars, famously signing his love letters, 'From Your Valentine.'
Today, we honor the calculating arms-bearer who willfully fires at unsuspecting targets'well no, not Dick Cheney'Cupid. Today, we play right into Hallmark's hands as they revive the legend of St. Valentine and make enough money from selling cards, flowers and candy to buy a small country or copyright Santa.
Today, most importantly, we celebrate love.
Shakespeare writes about it. John Legend sings about it. Charming British people say it at the end of every sentence. Tennis greats always seem to avoid it.
But make no mistake; love doesn't elude all athletes. In fact, many of them have it. Try as they might, some athletes simply can't keep their loved ones out of the spotlight. Though we can learn a lot from these athletes; their better (or worse) halves expose some universal truths about love. Just like Fat Joe and Ashanti, I'm curious: what IS luv?
Love is rolling the dice. Wayne Gretzky knows that when it comes to love, all bets are off. His wife was recently implicated in the NHL's giant gambling ring, and he put (a fairly small portion of ) his legacy on the line to cover it up and protect his wife's obscure, but not-yet tainted name.
Love is priceless but expensive. Antonio Davis was penalized $770,000 in salary for going into the stands to oversee an altercation that his wife (we later found out) instigated. It was reported that her boisterousness hit the Davis' finances hard, and they had to start subletting their compound in the Hamptons.
Love is a step in the wrong direction. Just a day before Indianapolis was to play the Pittsburgh Steelers in the AFC Divisional Playoff, Colts defensive back Nick Harper was stabbed in the right knee by his wife during a domestic dispute (it was HIS turn to take out the trash). Ironically, Harper had the chance to win the game on a fumble return but, due to his stab wound, didn't have the speed to reach the sideline where he would have scored. His lame limb forced him to take a fateful step toward the middle of the field where he was tackled. As a result, his team lost and karma won. Why, you ask? It turns out (as always) there was more to the story than some previously thought; Harper was arrested seven months earlier for domestic battery. Payback'much like teammate Peyton Manning'is a bitch.
Love is unconditional, but under one condition. Anna Benson, wife of pitcher Kris Benson, says she completely trusts her husband and knows he would never screw around on her. Very publicly, she entertained the thought anyway, threatening to slide into home with every one of his teammates if he were ever unfaithful. Anna, a former stripper, saw her plan backfire as Benson's teammates have been encouraging him to engage in an affair, imploring him to 'at least think about it ... see what's out there.'
Love is compromise, as long as compromise means castration. Doug Christie's owner, Jackie, doesn't allow Christie to conduct interviews with female reporters. She also does not allow him to change clothes in a locker room with female journalists present. She once slapped a female who sought her husband's autograph. I'd say her infamy earns her a nickname: 'payback.'
As you can see, there are some things about love that we would rather not celebrate. It was Eric Clapton who, in one of my favorite songs, asked ,'Why Does Love Got To Be So Sad'? But if we knew the secret to pure and uncomplicated love, the need for artistic self-expression might dissipate. It seems every song and poem translates to 'I love you' or 'I don't.' So artists haven't figured it out'and maybe, for their career's sake, they don't want to. Any chance that athletes have the answer? It's possible.
After all, the St. Valentine of the 21st century used to don Cupid's primary color in UW's backfield. He, too, was only charged because he's a hopeless romantic who was found guilty of several counts of love.
Happy Booker's Day.
