As classes begin again, many students feel overwhelmed by paper deadlines and huge exams. Whenever UW-Madison senior and Army National Guard Specialist Amy Jagielski, 24, feels like coursework is overwhelming her, she only has to think back to February 2004 in Iraq to provide her with some much-needed perspective.
Jagielski's convoy was returning to its 'safe zone' after a mission when spotters in the convoy identified an Improvised Explosive Device along the side of the road. At the same time, the convoy was alerted to the presence of a sniper in the area. Jagielski's convoy spent the rest of the night on the side of the road, patrolling vehicles and trying to sleep in near-freezing temperatures while avoiding potential sniper fire.
'I felt like I was going to be picked off at any moment,' she said. 'I can't really think of a worse night than that.'
Jagielski is only one of approximately 100 military veterans at UW-Madison who have recently returned from active duty to begin school again. Instead of a long-awaited end to their journey, for many soldiers the struggles, challenges and changes associated with a return to civilian life and a college education are just a beginning.
Surreal Transitions:
Whether the soldiers are returning from active combat in Iraq or Homeland Security missions in northern Wisconsin, the return to a college atmosphere from active duty is almost always a severe shock to the system. Soldiers returning from Iraq or other countries have been submerged in foreign cultures that are sometimes drastically different from the United States, and even those stationed in the country find it hard to let go of the military structure.
'You're used to the military making all the decisions for you, and all you're required to do is the job,' said Sergeant Tom Deits, a Vietnam War veteran and certified readjustment counselor at the Madison Vet Center. 'It doesn't matter if you're activated for a month or a year; there will always be readjustments when you come back home.'
For some, such as Madison Area Technical College junior and Army National Guard Specialist Paul Meixner, this readjustment has meant he has to force himself to relax and be more patient with those around him. For others, small but important changes are needed in their lives, such as breaking the habit of waking up at 3 a.m. every morning, relearning how to cook their own meals, studying for exams or controlling the aggression they were taught in the military. These skills, which students often take for granted, require time and patience on the part of the soldier.
But few are truly given the time they need to readjust to the life of a student. Many veterans said they were shocked by the lack of 'decompression time,' or time in between active duty and the return to civilian life.
All Staff Sergeant Liz O'Herrin wanted to do after her five-month deployment in Southwest Asia was take a 30-minute shower and spend time with her family. Instead, just four days after her arrival back in the United States, she had moved into a new apartment, bought her books and was sitting in a classroom taking notes in a communication arts lecture.
'It was really weird,' she said. 'People were just going through their everyday motions, and I had just returned from the war.'
O'Herrin considers herself lucky. Some veterans return from deployment after classes have already started, which presents academic obstacles during an already-tumultuous readjustment period. For these soldiers, discipline and self-reliance become a saving grace that enable them to maintain their focus on schoolwork while others are out partying.
But even a strong work ethic cannot help those soldiers for whom a degree at UW-Madison has become irrelevant. For many veterans, their experiences in active duty have rendered their college education nothing more than a formality.
'I just want to graduate as soon as possible and move on with my life,' said UW-Madison senior and Sergeant Melissa Heisz, who served in the Army National Guard. Others share the sentiment that a university degree cannot possibly offer more than their trials-by-fire in the military have already taught them. Jagielski recalled a medic who worked for months saving the lives of soldiers with severe gunshot and shrapnel wounds. Now she sits in classrooms with UW-Madison med students who still do not know how to administer IVs.
Starting Over:
While the initial shock of returning to classes and academic difficulties are stressful for many soldiers, more potentially serious emotional and long-term problems await those returning to the UW System.
For many of the soldiers, the most damaging emotional blow comes from the realization that many of the friends and groups they had held close before their activation are no longer a part of their lives.
'A whole year of my life went by as if I were standing still while my friends moved on,' Heisz said. 'You look at your life, and a lot is different afterward.'
According to Deits, veterans returning to college face unique challenges when they return to the fast-paced campus life.
'Relationships change quickly, and many of those people you were best friends with have already graduated or left when you return,' he said.
For many, this means building new relationships and social groups, a time-consuming and difficult process that some soldiers prefer to avoid.
Instead of spending her final years of school trying to form new relationships, Jagielski now spends much of her time with her high school friends and other soldiers from her unit.
Even those who return to friends in college say it is often difficult to relate their experiences to students who have never been in combat or in a military environment.
'I had this huge life-altering experience that people couldn't understand,' Heisz said. 'People just don't know how to approach you, or they try to bully you into talking about it.'
In addition, sometimes those trying to understand make the situation worse.
For Meixner, who lost a cousin in Iraq, questions like 'Have you ever killed anyone'? or 'Did you know anyone who died'? are as painful as they are insensitive.
According to Deits, often it is this difficulty in relating to others and making loved ones understand that drives many veterans to unhealthy behaviors like drinking. He suggests instead that students ask veterans if they want to talk about their experiences and allow the soldiers to make their own choices about how much or little they want to reveal.
Despite the ongoing problems and frustrations that many student veterans experience when they try to come back to school, most soldiers have found that the UW System and the students in it have tried to make their transition back into civilian life a smooth one.
'I really appreciated how people treated me when I got back, and UW took care of everything,' Jagielski said.
Meixner shares a similar sentiment. He says that no matter how bad his experiences were in Iraq, his time overseas made him realize just how blessed he was to be back home.
'Everything just seems so beautiful and green now. I realized it sometimes takes being in a place so ugly to make you realize just how beautiful everything really is.'
