Dear Hangover ~
This past weekend I went to the mall to beat the crowds next weekend and get some of my Christmas shopping out of the way. My friend was making fun of me for wearing some 'hippie' jeans ' the kind with holes all over and ripped hems. I personally thought they were awesome, until we were in Boston Store. On our way up to the second floor, the snag on the bottom of my jeans got caught in the escalator. They kept ripping and I was completely stuck at the top, lying on my back, until security got there and cut me out.
Sincerely,
Ripped Ruefully
Dear Hangover ~
A few weeks ago me and some of my boys went to Dick's Sporting Goods to get some stuff for the hunting season. We were goofing around and were sitting in some of the sailboats messing with the equipment. As one of my friends stepped out, he caught his leg on the rope of the boat. The sailboat competely fell over, and then the domino effect ensued, as the other four or five boats next to that one toppled over. We high tailed it out of the store before anyone could say anything to us.
Sincerely,
Lost at Sea
Dear Hangover ~
This past weekend I went to Target to pick up some necessities. While walking through one of the clothing sections, I saw the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life. I wanted to hit on her, but I was faced with a dilemma. The girl was very pregnant. Is that appropriate? I decided to give it a shot. I went up and started talking to her. We had really hit it off, and I felt comfortable enough to ask her about her baby and when she was due. 'What? I'm not pregnant!' she informed me. Apparently I'm just attracted to women with beer bellies.
Sincerely,
MILF-Dating Wannabe
A note for turkey gorgers:
Holiday shopping is approaching
And the men are up north a-poaching
Save the hitting for balls
Be careful in malls
And only sail boats on the ocean
