I get a lot of reader e-mails. Not as many as an advice columnist, but certainly my fair share. Because of the incalculable vastness of my knowledge (that I have fooled some of you into believing I possess) many of those e-mails are questions. Sometimes not even sports-related.
'Ben, will there ever be peace in the Middle East'?...'Ben, will anyone ever agree on the Supreme Court nominees'?...'Ben, will you marry me'?
Sure, I may be smarter than your average toddler, but that doesn't mean I can predict the future'or devote my life and love to a complete stranger (at least send a picture). Plus, this space is reserved for sports. If you want to know the meaning of life then, well, stop being so depressing and try to figure out the meaning of real enigmas, like ambiguous song lyrics or Gary Busey. Something useful.
So you might ask, 'If you can't predict the future or tell me why we're here, what can you do'? Give you my opinion is what. It's harder to be wrong that way. So I figure I should weigh in on what has been the most popular subject of my sports e-mails: the Terrell Owens saga.
This week T.O. officially became a bigger bitch than Nurse Ratched. In the last week he has called out Donovan McNabb for the 37th time in a year, insulted the Eagles organization for the 38th time, gotten into a fight with former teammate Hugh Douglas and refused to apologize to the team for any of it. The funny thing is, even though he should have been off the team after his August antics, the team would have let him stay if he had apologized.
What does an apology even mean after that? He'll still believe what he said, which is that McNabb doesn't play through injuries (among other things that are just as unacceptable and stupid). The only way to allow him back is if he didn't mean what he said, and it isn't like he was drunk when he made those comments. He didn't leave a bar in Philly, inhale a late-night cheese-steak, stumble in front of a camera and poceed to slam Donovan.
He meant what he said. He wants his contract extension and apparently he'll stop at nothing to get it'he'll even be so bullheaded in his pursuit that he will destroy his chances of ever getting it. Ironic, huh? He could only be a disruptive presence for so long until the Eagles had reached the point of diminishing returns. That's where they are now.
Philly may be considerably less talented without him on the field, but they can play with the solidarity that comes from removing a cancer and proving to everyone that they never grew to depend on it. In football'more than any other sport'teammates play for each other, not just with each other.
And still, the Eagles weren't entirely convinced until yesterday, when they suspended him for the year. They told him to apologize to the organization, the team and McNabb. He apologized only to the organization (they sign his checks) so the team sent him home'something they should have done a long time ago. But who needs T.O. anyway? The way he's selfishly tearing apart a reigning NFC championship team because he's not satisfied with his $49 million contract, what parent in Eastern Pennsylvania is going to put their kid a T.O. jersey? What kind of example is that setting? If he keeps this up, his jersey will sell about as well as Rae Carruth's.
The rocky marriage between Owens and reasonable human behavior has ended in divorce, with reasonable human behavior citing 'irreconcilable differences.' The guy is crazy. From now on, every team will have him sign a prenuptial of sorts'one or two-year deals which guarantee that he doesn't have to be paid (or played) if he forgets any anniversaries or disrespects the in-laws.
There you have it. I don't think he's worth the trouble and I don't see how he will ever be. So until any further developments, no more e-mails about the man whose actions I wish I had never dignified with a column. And no more proposals either. How many of you do you expect me to marry? I may be a more stable husband than T.O. but I'm just one man. One non-Mormon man.
