When not serving Ian's pizzas, studying or reading his favorite campus paper, Dimitri indulges his true passion: dominating unworthy opponents in Nintendo's Super Smash Bros. Daydreaming in class, today's reader relives battles of yore but still manages to take immaculate notes. You see, Dimitri is phenomenal at multitasking; he was last seen winning a 16-player Smash Bros. Tourney, preparing for a chemistry lab, and cooking up some bacon and eggs all at the same time.
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