Dear Mr. President,
She has worked in state government for 15 years. She has been appointed by the mayor to serve on a council here and there. She looks nice in a pantsuit. She knows the law pretty well and can uphold the values of the constitution. Who is this beacon of justice I am describing? Is it Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers? No, it is my mother, Susan Canty. It's difficult to tell the difference, eh?
Mr. President. In case this nominee doesn't go so well, or in case you need to pick another person (God forbid) to serve on America's highest court, I would like to offer you a suggestion: pick my mother. After my father was passed over for Pope, I figure a seat on the bench would be the next best thing.
My mom knows the law pretty well. She took a Poli. Sci. course in college. I think she got an A in it too, which is probably better than what you got and you turned out all right. She has worked for the state of Wisconsin for 14 years, and she worked for the county when we lived in California. Her job may not directly pertain to law, but she is decisive and she can sneak a pocket constitution in her purse if she needs to.
And I know experience isn't everything in getting the job. It's really the personal connections people have with you. My mom laughs all the time. She sees people in the grocery store, holds a long conversation with them and then asks me where she knows them from. That's a good skill to have in a position like this. It makes people feel good. Plus, our neighbors seem to like her, and she makes a great rum cake. This will be great for those Supreme Court potlucks before big cases.
Still not convinced, George? My mother was born in Snyder, Texas. Yes, she is a Texan just like you! Now you can talk about Texan things like dust, big cities, the weather and overeating. After Texas, she lived in Florida. What a coincidence! She has roots in two of your safety zones. You will feel right at home with her on the bench. It will be just like having Miers up there, except Miers doesn't make good corn bread, does she? I didn't think so.
You may be wondering where she stands on the issues. Well, she has never written any opinions on anything as far as I know. Consider this a plus because she won't get held up in the Senate debating what she did and didn't say. She does shake her head in disgust when a few things are on the TV though. As far as I can tell, she is against ruining the environment, racism and \The Andy Milonakis Show."" She is for Law and Order (the show and the general idea), puppies and Jackie Chan movies. If those aren't rock - solid stances on current issues, then I don't know what a stance is.
So Mr. President, I'm just putting it out there. You can throw this idea right back if you want, but I think that would be a mistake. I know she is black, and I know she is a Democrat, but we can't hold that against her, can we? Oh, we can. Well forget the whole thing then. She can just wait until 2008 and get on the ticket with Kanye West. ""Don't register late in '08!""
If you'd like more information about Erin's mother, shoot her an email at erincanty8285@hotmail.com.
