Ever hear the one about the post-birth abortion combined with cannibalism and Nazis? An immediate response to this would probably be \No, what kind of sick person would combine such horrible topics?"" Well, that man is Stephen Lynch on his latest CD, The Craig Machine.
This album is probably Lynch's darkest collection yet, including the title track ""Craig."" This song is about Craig Christ, Jesus' party-animal brother. In the track, Lynch asks ""And so the question for you / Is not, 'What would Jesus do?' / But where will you be when the Craig machine comes partying through?""
Then, to offend all the Satanists out there, Lynch gives the delightful ""Beelz,"" an entertaining song that reveals a softer side of the dark one. ""My real name is Beelzebub, but you can call me Beelz / I love to watch Fox News and then go club some baby seals."" Lynch makes his politics clear when Satan later references his penchant for Rush Limbaugh rants.
Also included on Craig Machine are the twisted songs ""Mixer at Delta Chi,"" and ""Halloween."" The former track features a twisted tale of a professor having sex with his female students.
Perfectly in tune with recent UW-Madison politics, Lynch sings ""And then as I undress her / And start my stimulus / She says, 'But wait... Professor' / This wasn't on the syllabus.""
The most disturbingly funny song is ""Halloween,"" which tells the story of a guy whose favorite time of the year is Halloween because only then can he torture and eat children. ""Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me someone good to eat,""-an excellent twist on the old October standby.
Stephen Lynch can make any subject humorous, so when a friend challenged him to write a funny song about a homeless French man, Lynch stepped up and swung for the fences. ""Pierre"" features Lynch mocking a man who cannot drink wine with his government cheese.
On ""Pierre,"" Lynch's friends Rod Cone and Mark Teich, echo each line in hilariously bad French accents. They also appear throughout most of the second half of the CD, providing Lynch with surprisingly euphonious backup vocals; particularly Teich on ""Classic Rock Song,"" so-called because it sounds like a classic rock song-one with a dark satirical twist, but a classic-rock song nonetheless.
Aside from the comedy, Stephen Lynch is also a great singer and musician. His voice and lyrics are so outstanding that if the songs were not funny, they would still be great songs. On top of his singing chops, the comedy feels like a wonderful bonus.
The only real downside to Craig Machine is it comes in an easily crushable cardboard case. This might be an evil joke Lynch plays on his listeners.
If the case is just a cruel joke, it comes as another one on a thoroughly entertaining album. The dark content of The Craig Machine should more than satisfy fans, and it could possibly convert new people onto Lynch's crass styling.
