Dear Hangover ~
I was out at a bar on Friday night hanging out with my friends when they went out to have a cigarette. These three guys randomly came up to me and started talking, which I found weird but I kept the conversation going. When my friends came back, two of the guys left and dumped the last guy on us. I felt bad for him, so we didn't walk away from the table or anything. I figured, how bad could it be? Little did I know that every time I cracked a joke this guy would touch my face. He was stroking my chin and looking at me in...a way. But strangly enough, he wasn't hitting on me. I know this because he asked me how it felt to have sex with a woman, because he was a virgin. He wanted a detailed description. When he got up to pee, the three of us bolted. You try to be a good Samaritan...
Sincerely,
Not Talking to Strangers
Dear Hangover ~
I went to Madhatters on Friday for a little FAC action. I was having an awesome time hanging out and celebrating a the start of weekend-freedom when I saw it. This girl was sitting on a barstool and the boy next to her had his hand up her skirt like he was digging for buried treasure. Christ! Is there no deceny left in the world?!
Sincerely,
Gauging out my Eyes
Dear Hangover ~
For the big Michigan game our apartment got a half-barrel, and we had it out in the bathroom. Everything went fine that night, we even came out ahead. However, the next day we discover someone has peed in one of the bathroom drawers! Not only is my roommate's stuff covered in urine but my drawer is right below his - gravity screwed me again. So now, rather than going toward more beer, my profit went for a new toothbrush, and the worse part is we don't know who did it. The keg was in the bathroom so we doubt anyone did it during the party. So it appears likely that one of us, in a less than rational move, pissed in our own drawer.
Sincerely,
Preturbed by Pee
A note to all crazy and ever-belligerent individuals:
Do not ask complete strangers for sex advice, best to keep that sex out of public view in bars and the only two places appropriate for relieving of yellow fluids are toilets and trees.
