\House of Wax"" is only the latest in an annoyingly trendy glut of horror ""reimaginations,"" but it is noteworthy for a particularly peculiar appeal: Paris Hilton's onscreen death.
The hotel heiress does indeed gruesomely meet her maker at some point approximately halfway through-an otherwise commonplace horror death that, to some, will more than justify the price of admission. Besides that, it's the same meticulously filmed group of uncharismatic hard-bodies and babes frolicking, whining and fleeing from sadistic boogeyman we've seen in any slasher movie since the heyday of ""Friday the 13th.""
Elisha Cuthbert is the ""smart"" girl in this ill-fated crew of popular teens who are on their way to a college football game. Other potential victims include her rebellious twin brother (Chad Michael Murray), her sensitive boyfriend (Jared Padalecki), the loser with a video camera (Jon Abrahams) and, of course, Hilton's spoiled party girl and her boyfriend (Robert Richard). After camping and car trouble, some of the kids look for help in a deserted town complete with an ominous wax museum.
Music video director Jaume Collet-Serra makes his big-screen debut with ""House of Wax,"" and noticeably strains to break out every camera trick and flourish he can to dress up an astonishingly lazy paint-by-numbers script. He has a proclivity for surprisingly effective overhead shots which admirably juices up what little tension the rest of the film generates. Collet-Serra's unwillingness to turn away from the frequently grimy gore also serves as a refreshing counterpoint to this age of sanitized PG-13 horror.
While the extreme violence requirement is adhered to, ""House of Wax"" is notably devoid of gratuitous sex and nudity. The gorgeous Cuthbert follows up an aggressively sexy performance as a porn star by shedding barely a shred of clothing, while the infamously slutty Hilton performs only a striptease the Disney Channel wouldn't be afraid to air.
Hilton gives what is possibly the best performance in the film. This is how deep the dearth of acting talent goes with this cast. Cuthbert sleepwalks, the central male characters barely stand out from one another, and Murray pouts with all the ferocity of a five-year-old who didn't get a Tickle-Me-Elmo for Christmas.
""House of Wax"" is the fourth feature from Dark Castle Films. In comparison to the astoundingly awful ""Thirteen Ghosts"" and the mediocre bloodbaths ""Ghost Ship"" and ""Gothika,"" ""House of Wax"" is a slight improvement to the formula. Although it is admittedly better than you'd expect, ""House of Wax"" is still comfortably substandard slasher fare which, through its box-office returns, will only serve as a barometer for exactly how much America hates Paris Hilton.
