As far as sports clich??s go, the \Go 1-0"" motto employed by the UW football team last fall ranks right up there with the all-time classics like ""It's just another game"" and ""There's no I in team.""
Now, I don't have any problem with sports clich??s. To be honest, most athletes don't have much to say, so a good team motto can provide a season's worth of quotes. But what I do have a problem with is when these clich??s start to transcend their origins.
That's exactly what has happened with ""1-0"" and its derivative ""one game at a time."" They've worn out their welcome in Madison. Everyone from Bo Ryan to Mike Eaves is using it. Somewhere on Lake Mendota, some overzealous broomball captain is imploring his team to ""Go 1-0.""
The Daily Cardinal sports desk is guilty of perpetuating the clich?? too. It is the personal ethos of my colleague Eric Schmoldt. He applies it to everything in his life. From column writing and note-taking to drinking games, Schmoldt still professes his commitment to the ""1-0"" lifestyle. (Though he more often subscribes to the football team's less popular, ""Go 0-3 when it really matters"" mentality.)
I think it's time for campus sports figures to ditch ""1-0"" and take on a new approach. Luckily, I have just the answer for them. My new theory is called ""halfism,"" and my spell-checker highlighted the word, so I know nobody else has thought of this yet.
Halfism is rooted in the belief that ""one game at a time"" is too broad. True competitors approach things one half at a time. It's like addition by subtraction-or division. I'm not really sure, I didn't do so well in math.
This new attitude is rooted in two principles.
First, life is easier when you break things down into halves. It comes from my cousin Mikey, who is renowned for coming up with peculiar life philosophies. In addition to his half idea, he developed a method of decision-making based solely on poker. (For example, when choosing a breakfast cereal, he deals two hands, one for Cheerios, the other for Kix. The winning hand is his breakfast.)
Anyway, his half approach is what really stoked me. Instead of worrying about his whole outfit for the day, he focuses on looking good on only one half of his body. So you're likely to see him sporting a $60 soccer jersey with a pair of meat-stained sweatpants. Genius.
The second element of ""halfism"" is the brainchild of my friend Emily. She introduced me to her belief, appropriately enough, at halftime of the Wisconsin-Illinois game last week.
With Wisconsin trailing by one point, she said, ""If we just win this half by more than one point, we'll win the game.""
Faced with some confused looks, Emily elaborated, ""I mean, if you just win every half, then you'll win every game, right?""
Right indeed. Emily had hit on pure sports clich?? gold. This is the kind of thing coaches and players strive for-simple yet effective. It also possesses the ""huh"" factor that can leave a room of seasoned sportswriters silent as they try to sort through what was just said.
Halfism is still in its infancy, but I think it's ready to break out in Madison. I welcome Bo Ryan and any other UW sports figure to take on the idea. So at the next Badger home game, don't be surprised to see Bo Ryan wearing his usual slick sport coat and turtleneck outfit paired with a pair of meat-stained sweatpants. I can't wait.
Joe Hasler is a sophomore majoring in Journalism. He can be reached jphasler@wisc.edu.
