At the end of last semester, I warned all of you that I would be taking a month off from \Schmoldt. 45"" to pursue my rap career. Well, I can gladly say that, despite my album's success among other distractions, I'll be right back here every Thursday to distract you for an extra five minutes during lecture.
Though most of you already know, my rap career got off to a spectacular start. I want to thank you all for buying my album, and there will be many more in the future. However, I realized that I cannot continue that lifestyle right now. In fact, the music industry was actually the least of my worries.
You see, while promoting my album, I made pit stops along the way, which included the Outback Bowl, a DePaul/Cincinnati basketball game and a disappointing trip to Bloomington, Ind., where Bracey Wright tore the Badgers apart. Apparently it was my dedication to sports journalism, and not my free-styling skills, that captured the attention of the nation.
When I made it home from the trip-which lasted a grueling 4,200 miles-my phone was ringing off the hook from professional media outlets. They had seen my work over the past couple of years, and even though I was only a junior, they wanted me to forego my final year of eligibility and enter the professional ranks.
Now there was a major decision to be made. Stick around Madison, entertaining the "".45"" faithful and having the time of my life, or sell out for the money and glamour of the professional ranks.
There was obviously only one solution: I was going to have to call up my good buddy Matt Leinart, the junior quarterback for USC. He won this year's Heisman trophy and his second straight national championship. The NFL was beckoning him, so I knew how he felt and figured together we'd make the right decision.
Boy was I right. Together we decided that there was no better time than now to visit the local establishments, hit on the young co-eds who constantly follow us around and perhaps win a few more awards and championships. College is where it's at.
I don't care what anybody says, Leinart made the right decision. Hmm, play one more year at USC where everyone loves him, where he might win a third national championship and a second Heisman trophy and where he can just have some fun. Or join a San Francisco 49ers team which will be lucky to win a championship in the next 20 years, where he will be followed by women hungry for his money and where he would have to play under the NFL's worst owner, John York?
Not a tough decision for Leinart and me, seeing as our situations were so similar.
So while he decided to announce his decision midway through January, I decided to maintain the suspense and keep you all waiting. But without further ado, ""Schmoldt .45"" is back and ready for its final year of eligibility.
Besides, it seems like anyone can go pro nowadays, like that one schmuck who called Wisconsin the most overrated team and UW freshman center Brian Butch the most overrated player in the Big Ten, or sideline reporter Erin Andrews, who gave us special insight that the Illinois players had signed their first yarmulkes the other night. Thanks for that...
As for me, I'll stick to making my predictions, like that Illinois would beat Wisconsin 74-63 and their trio of guards would eat us alive. If you can't do the math, I was off of the final score by three points and the guards combined for 39 points, 15 assists and 10 rebounds.
Don't hate me, I'm just a realist ... a realist who knows that he should stick around and impress his college buddies with predictions and entertain his classmates on Thursdays.
Eric Schmoldt is a junior planning to major in history. For help on deciding whether or not to go pro, contact him at ejschmoldt@wisc.edu.
