JAKE DELHOMME! TOM BRADY! SUPER BOWL XXXVIII?!
I don't know about you folks, but I'd be more excited about the possibility of seeing \Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!"" than this game. Yeah, the Patriots are the hottest team in the NFL, while the Panthers boast a competent offense with an intimidating defensive line. But who is seriously excited to see the defensive blitzing schemes of Romeo Crennel, huh? Who is up for seeing Tom Brady eke his way to a victory, or Jake ""actually-not-as-horrible-as-you-might-think"" Delhomme redefine QB mediocrity?
Most people who are going to watch the Super Bowl will do so for the following reasons: 1) the extravagant commercials which will be more entertaining than the game itself (of course, watching Al Gore reciting the Necronomicon would be more exciting than a defensive chess game) and 2) to see if Kid Rock, Nelly and the rest could outperform last year's halftime entertainment, Shania Twain and the guy with the ski goggles behind her playing the double-keyboard guitar.
Although NFL officials wouldn't admit it, this is not the matchup they dreamed of when the season began. Personally, I was all for an Indianapolis vs. Philly contest. Not because I'm particularly a fan of either team, but as a member of the ""liberal media,"" I would have loved to witness Rush Limbaugh's head collapse upon itself when thinking about whom to root for. ""The black coach or the black QB? The black QB or the black coach? I need more pills!""
But there is hope to salvage the excitement of this Super Bowl.
And it comes in the form of rollerblades.
Rollerblades you say? Didn't rollerblades go the way of Starter jackets, zoobas and DJ Jazzy Jeff, you might ask? Of course not! At least, not to McDonald's, where groups of streetballers from the ""hood"" (I assumed they are from the ""hood"" because they are of African descent with hip-hop playing in the background) can strap on their helmets and safety pads while playing basketball ... on rollerblades.
Far-fetched? Yup. I remember asking myself, ""Sweet Jesus! Is this some sort of cruel joke? Can one obtain mad hops on plastic wheels? Do urban people actually do this? Am I that out of touch?"" But I remembered that, hey, this is the McDonald's corporation. Justin Timberlake does their commercials. Of course they know what the kids are enjoying these days! I MUST be out of touch.
So logically, if rollerblades are all the rage in the sport of basketball, they must work in football as well. Imagine, Stephen Davis slicing through the Patriots' defense with all the grace of a speedskater. Rodney Harrison laying out Steve Smith head over wheels. ""Mr. Clutch"" Adam Vinitieri splitting the uprights in his Nike Air Blades! So I say break out the blades boys! I'm lovin' it!
Michael Jones is a senior majoring in political science and international relations. He can be reached for comment at mikejones@dailycardinal.com.
