You might know Amos Posner. Amos is a film student but still finds time to write an excellent column in this newspaper, running on the same Wednesdays that this column runs just a few pages back. I love him to death, but if I hear \Right Thurr"" one more time, I will kill Amos Posner.
Amos has better taste than Chingy, a rapper whose beats seem to aimlessly circle, drunken buzzards picking the bones of better dirty south artists. Amos must at least realize that the backdrop to the MC matters at least a little. Grandmaster Flash was the DJ, not the rapper. Run DMC was as much the rock as it was the lyrics. The reason 1988 could see Public Enemy reach No. 42 on the Billboard charts and KRS-one's Boogie Down Productions only reach 75 with the same political themes was Public Enemy's use of jazz and funk to boost the lyrics. Eminem's chief asset has never been his wit or skin tone, but his ability to pick a driving hook to shout over. Puff Daddy's popularity was solely based on appropriating the best (and often most famous) portions of other peoples songs.
The one-chord, synthesized organ loop backing ""Right Thurr"" is improbably terrible, making me curse the field of statistics for providing that, given 30 years of hip-hop this, tripe had to be used eventually. The directionless background of ""Right Thurr"" has such literal monotony that, listening closely, you can hear Chingy's beats themselves ask you to end their torturous misery. ""Please,"" they say, ""Please stop us from harming ourselves and others. Please, please let this one chord sleep and allow others to carry some of the burden of this song.""
It is amazing how far hip-hop has come. We have seen hardened narratives of street life and political activism flower, blossom and wither to the point of ""bling bling"" and novelty singles. No, it isn't just that Chingy is not as raw as 50 Cent or as talented as Outkast, or even that Chingy has nothing to say and no good way to say it. ""Right Thurr"" simply fails to amuse while succeeding in being stupid. Chingy's summer hit single cashes in by being brazenly sexual but not with any wit or skill. It is less witty than the Sir Mix a Lot track my generation grew up with, less catchy than ""Hot in Herre.""
""Right Thurr"" has little to stand on other than the fact that it is about a guy looking at women and fancying sex. It is a song recorded a thousand times before. But whereas his forefathers recorded in fun, Chingy makes it sound lifeless and contrived. ""Right Thurr"" is the remora on Nelly, hoping that merely reminding you of how much fun Nelly's dirty south is will make Chingy's dirty south as fun. This song is not as fun, and the pretty girls in the video become less amusing. Summer anthems are all about listening to music more about its own energy than about its content.
Lacking content doesn't provide ""Right Thurr"" with any more fun. In fact, it only provided me with yet another reason why I know where Amos Posner lives, when he sleeps, and which window of his is the least durable.
I hate this song. I hate this song with a glowing passion. Please, please buy a new album. Amos begs you.
staticoracle@hotmail.com.
