Welcome to \House of the Dead,"" possibly the worst movie so far this fall. Based on the popular video game of the same name, this horrible film will probably do for zombie fans what Jean-Claude Van Damme did for ""Street Fighter."" German director Uwe Boll's first mainstream film is fraught with bad dialogue, bad music and clich??s that have been resurrected more times than the zombies.
So here's the plot: a group of young, attractive teens land on an island intent on participating in the ""party of the year"" while getting liquored up. Instead, they end up fighting and running from zombies. As it turns out, the island is overrun with zombies who are lightning fast. What are a group of privileged kids to do but get some hardcore weapons and kick some zombie butt?
On their ride to the island, a creepy skipper by the name of Captain Kirk (J??rgen Prochnow), just happens to be preparing for World War III on his fishing boat. Many scenes of random butt kicking and slow-motion bullet time ensue.
It turns out there is a big-brother corporation using the kids to defeat the zombie hordes while it retrieves the valuable zombie juice. The fast zombies would be cool, except that they have already been done and to much better effect by Danny Boyle in ""28 Days Later."" Another word of warning: one should never pay to see anything in which Clint Howard is a main character.
Perhaps worst of all, the ending is left wide open, setting the stage for the inevitable, and inevitably bad, sequel. For those on the market for a zombie movie, look no farther than the original ""Dawn of the Dead."" For everyone else, avoid this movie at all costs.
