Do we get letters? Hell yeah. Here are some of the best:
Dear Angela,
I consider myself a pretty normal person, and I always figured that sex with my partner was good. I mean, we're pretty adventurous--we've even done a little role playing and tied each other up once or twice. But the other day, he made kind of a strange request that I didn't know how to respond to. It's his birthday, and I wanted to give him an extra special night. When I asked him if there was anything special I could do for his birthday to make his \experience"" a little better, he told me that he wanted us to sit on his birthday cake. That's it--just sit on a cake. He said that getting messed up in the cake would turn him on. I guess theoretically I don't have any problem with it. I mean, sitting on a cake wouldn't hurt me or make me feel bad, but I have to admit, it kinda weirds me out. What the heck is this? Is my boyfriend a freak?
--Duncan Hines
Dear Duncan,
Nope, he's not a freak. What your boyfriend wants to do is called sploshing. And really, there's nothing to be weirded out about. As Katharine Gates notes in her book ""Deviant Desires: Incredibly Strange Sex,"" sploshing is all about fun and humor, mostly of the slapstick variety. To sploshers, the fun is getting sloppy, wet and messy with someone, called ""mutual messing."" Scenes can be enacted, with a ""messy waiter/waitress, clumsy tray carrier,"" or the like, or people can just dump messy things on each other. Some sploshers just enjoy the feeling of the mess, while others like to take a seemingly formal, ""proper"" situation and mess it up, creating humorous mock-catastrophes. Sploshers use a variety of foods and substances, such as chocolate syrup, oatmeal, spaghetti, different colored paints, whipped cream, baked beans, wallpaper paste, baby oil, mud, apricots in syrup, rice pudding, raw eggs and yes, birthday cake.
Sploshing seems to be catching on. Sploshing is such a common fetish that the magazine ""Splosh!"" is entirely devoted to people in search of messy fun. In addition, HBO's ""Real Sex"" documentary series details a sploshing party, and after watching it, it hardly seems scary or weird--actually, in the show, it just looked like a really elaborate food fight. Some readers attend ""Splosh Days"" in London, where they can meet the magazine's models and engage in some mutual messing. Interestingly enough, at the Splosh Days convention, no one engages in physical sexual contact, mostly because that's not really the most interesting part of it all for the people who do it--to sploshers, mess can be an erotic end in itself. So Duncan, does it sound to me like this is going to get your motor revved? Not really. But as you said, you're just sitting on a cake. If it doesn't upset you, hurt you or demean you, then I say go for it.
Dear Angela,
Did you watch the Oscars Sunday night? How 'bout when Adrien Brody won for Best Actor and grabbed Halle Berry, kissing her for like eight seconds? Wasn't that like the cutest thing you've ever seen?
--Everyone Angela's Talked To Since Sunday
Dear Everyone I've Talked To Since Sunday,
Not so much.
